Alpine Skiing

A useless gravity sport whose athletes claim to train hard when in reality they do more smoking ganja and then training. The only sport where an athlete in season can smoke and drink and still do reasonable well. The sport takes skill but relatively no athleticism and could be consider a pussy sport since you either finish or you break your arm. A highly publicized sport where people go down a hill for 20 seconds and then wait in a line for the chairlift for 10 minutes.

Jimmy: Hey Earl you wanna go alpine skiing this weekend?

Earl: Fuck no mang, I ain't no pussy shit, i beez the real deal. Lets do a real sport. Like freestyle skiing.

by Charliemagnustwiceremoved May 10, 2009

Alpine Snowball

The act of a male ejaculating on a female's chest, then scooping it up into his mouth, proceeding to put it in her mouth. Resulting in a swallowing of the transfered cum.

Carolynn got Alpine Snowballed last night, and it wasn't even snowing.

by Jim Bob Sue October 27, 2009

Alpine Snowboot

The act of a male ejaculating on whatever footwear he is currently wearing and then kicking a woman in the face with said footwear

Sue: Did you see Betty's face?
Derek: Yeah, Jake gave her and alpine snowboot last night.

by Prof. McJavier October 30, 2011

Alpine, California

a small ass town somewhere by some random ass mountain kinda in san diego. if you're coming here then there is a good chance that a cow will be blocking the road. This town is full of snobby bitches. lol

Sarah: Where do you live?

Jake: Alpine, California!

Sarah: Oh, so you live on a ranch?

by Poopieforlyfe9876543 November 7, 2012

Alpine dip

The act of inserting your {balls} into a woman's {vagina} and then {ejaculating} onto her stomach.

I just gave her the alpine dip. it's what he ladies really love.

by Rass April 23, 2008

Alpine Nesting Syndrome

ANS is a serious condition discovered by doctors in 1972. Symptoms of ANS vary, from picking up twigs and leaves with your mouth to sprouting 'feathers' and sitting on said nests for weeks at a time waiting for your young to hatch, but there is no young because you are crazy. There is no cure for ANS, you have to live with this disease forever.
Currently, ANS patients are being held hostage in China and are being used to breed genetically mutated birds of war for the chinese government. Any patient found to have ANS is shipped against their will to China to continue this experiment. Some may be shipped to N.Korea to aid in nuclear testing.

wow that guy has got a severe case of Alpine Nesting Syndrome, what a deuche

by RapetheWalrus November 1, 2006

Alpine Ice Slide

Taking a human bowl movement, freezing it and using it as a dildo.

I took a huge dump the other night and then gave my girlfriend an alpine ice slide.

by NeophyteMaster March 25, 2009