Awkward Tortoise

A two-person awkward turtle.

Based off of the hilarious biology video of tortoises engaging in... mature behavior and grunting while an excited guy with an accent watches.

Friend: Awkward turtle!!
*does awkward turtle*
You: Awkward tortoise!!!!!!!!
*does awkward turtle on top of friend's awkward turtle, moving up and down and grunting*

by jumpin4jesus February 15, 2009

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Rigamortis Tortoise

A Rigamortis Tortoise is a vile and disgusting creature. Often cold and calloused, Rigamortis Tortoise can disgust even the most hardcore of people. Rigamortis Tortoise often has an undeserved sense of entitlement caused by birth.

We caught Rigamortis Tortoise walking out of the morgue with a bottle of astroglide and a pink dildo. That disgusting vermin.

by Jachoff Witme May 27, 2010

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freeze the tortoise

To stop a conversation, because a) someone has said something incredibly awkward and/or disturbing or b) the conversation is inevitably leading that way.

When Mikey told me to "guard my carnal treasure" it really froze the tortoise.

by The Bard of Anon May 18, 2005

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Clit-Tortise

Where a womans clitoris was bitten by a snapping turtle

Hey Chad, did you hear that Brittney got a Clit-Tortise

by Searchin4Sus January 24, 2020

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Tortoise Kisses

When two guys really love and respect each other, they might show it by lightly touching the tips of their penises together in a display of trust, friendship and understanding.

Bill and Jeff are in the back giving each other tortoise kisses. They're really good friends.

by TortoiseKisses January 21, 2011

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