Lives life in dark depressing areas such as schwag basements. To the common eye a Schwagendall or Kirkenschwag may appear as a normal person but after many failed attempts it is clear that the Schwagendall cannot obain pussy. His personal sexual orientation is not confirmed due to his multiple decades of repeated pussy futility. Enjoys the hobby of smoking herb, and by herb I mean other peoples herb of whom he is mooching off due to his persistent streak of being completely nugless and completely broke. BE WARNED although the Kirkenschwag house/schwagenbasement is always accessible there is rarely nug available to match and you will likely be smoking multiple coons down. (example listed below)In the schwagenhouse there are multiple 'creatures' or 'beings' that you must be aware of when entering for your own personal saftey and well being, they are as follows:
MONSTER-a large fat pot smoking kirk, has traits similar to ol' L Kirk himself such as mass percy videogamery and no pussy.
FAT BABY- a large fat baby... Plays a lot of videogames and eats a lot of food, occupies the KirkenTv (no cable) 24/7 or until removed by a fellow Schwagendall.
PFD- (Penis Face Dog)A large white dog. Of whom clearly wants to leave with you everytime you go, but also happens to shed more than life itself giving the Schwagenhouse a nice little white glimmer of allergic dog hair, to go along with the horrid stench of cat piss.
Schwagencar- Audible from 2 miles with its Hitchcock esque screech. 0-60 in 34.6 seconds. Needless to say, also lacks head rests in both the driver and passenger seat.
WARNING XXX WARNING XXX WARNING XXX
LAVONSTER
A large fat 'mother' who provides the food for the Schwagenhouse. Generally buys in bulk of large amounts of cereal, diet carbonated schwag drinks, raman noodles, and the occasional pop tart. Also a big fan of couch sitting and watching movie, after movie, after movie.
B Kirk- An 1840's prospect, not much else is known about him other than the occasional percy sick day on a vital day of importance, and that he tokes. Appears to be a definite fellow Schwagendall though, by all means.
MONSTER-a large fat pot smoking kirk, has traits similar to ol' L Kirk himself such as mass percy videogamery and no pussy.
FAT BABY- a large fat baby... Plays a lot of videogames and eats a lot of food, occupies the KirkenTv (no cable) 24/7 or until removed by a fellow Schwagendall.
PFD- (Penis Face Dog)A large white dog. Of whom clearly wants to leave with you everytime you go, but also happens to shed more than life itself giving the Schwagenhouse a nice little white glimmer of allergic dog hair, to go along with the horrid stench of cat piss.
Schwagencar- Audible from 2 miles with its Hitchcock esque screech. 0-60 in 34.6 seconds. Needless to say, also lacks head rests in both the driver and passenger seat.
WARNING XXX WARNING XXX WARNING XXX
LAVONSTER
A large fat 'mother' who provides the food for the Schwagenhouse. Generally buys in bulk of large amounts of cereal, diet carbonated schwag drinks, raman noodles, and the occasional pop tart. Also a big fan of couch sitting and watching movie, after movie, after movie.
B Kirk- An 1840's prospect, not much else is known about him other than the occasional percy sick day on a vital day of importance, and that he tokes. Appears to be a definite fellow Schwagendall though, by all means.
by Yung Gizzle June 20, 2008
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Clapping when a waitress falls and drops a tray of glasses
Watching figure skaters falling on their asses
Watching people out in the rain
Watching a vegetarian being told she just ate chicken
Watching a frat boy realize just what he put his dick in
Being on an elevator when somebody shouts "Hold the door!"
Straight A students getting Bs
Exes getting STDs
Waking doormen from their naps
Watching tourists reading maps
Football players getting tackled
CEOs getting shackled
Watching actors never reach the ending of their Oscar speech
Clapping when a waitress falls and drops a tray of glasses
Watching figure skaters falling on their asses
Watching people out in the rain
Watching a vegetarian being told she just ate chicken
Watching a frat boy realize just what he put his dick in
Being on an elevator when somebody shouts "Hold the door!"
Straight A students getting Bs
Exes getting STDs
Waking doormen from their naps
Watching tourists reading maps
Football players getting tackled
CEOs getting shackled
Watching actors never reach the ending of their Oscar speech
by Janet Weiss August 26, 2005
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Remember the enormous pleasure you got watching dad get kicked in the nuts on AFHV in the 80s, or ogling any fat asshole in the world dancing in bikini briefs or redneck on a crotch rocket who smashes his face in on the old log next to the "swimmin' hole" near his dilapidated shack on YouTube? That's schadenfreude... It's what makes you human... Or a very bad person.
by Vice Morris July 29, 2009
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by Bald Evil August 22, 2010
Get the Schadenpride mug.Dude, yesterday that One-up James we know got shot down by this total hottie... Who put him down by calling him a One-up James! I had the biggest schadenfreugasm you've ever seen.
by 7thAge October 24, 2011
Get the schadenfreugasm mug.Jim's refrigerator contained nothing but fat free ranch dressing and expired milk. His dinner guests had a brief sense of schadenfridge at the expense of their otherwise well-prepared friend.
by captainsandwich January 2, 2012
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"Do you remember the snotty girl who used to make fun of you? I heard through the grapevine that she had three kids by different guys and is currently dating another loser. I'm schadenfriending her today on Facebook so I can see her karmic smackdown."
by Professor Ninja August 10, 2012
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