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Elves

Elves

Humanoids with pointy ears who got drunk and would molest Dwarves in the Mines of Moria of the 1st Age of the parallel dimension and world of ours called Middle Earth. They operated from years 5012MD "Mordor Domoni" to 108AM "Anno Mordor". It's unclear why Elves did this but it became a part of Elfish drinking games. 89% of Dwarves were unwilling to allow their ass hole to get sodomized so Elves came up with darts to shoot Dwarves to send them into a sexual ecstacy.

Most of Middle Earth knew the savage acts of the Elves but were unwilling to stop it for fear of open war. Gondor and Rohan were both allies with the Elves and Dwarves but it was a can they didn't want to open. Many Dwarves died during the cruel era called the Stank Mines. The biggest cause of death were exploded rectums causing anal seepage, which in turn led to bacteria infections. The Elves had no remorse.

The Dwarves finally rose up and revolted. Most Elves died due to being allergic to axe handles being thrusted up their anus. This gave coining to the phrase "You rip what you sow", ass holes that is.
These Elves keep raping all of the Dwarfs. Someone should do something to the Elves to prevent this happening all the time.
by The Informant99 January 9, 2012
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elved

To get bettered at something. derived from an urban myth around yorkshire, england of a mythical creature known as "the elve" who, as legend has it - can out do anyone or anything at whatever they are trying to do.
man, that guy thought he was something special then this dude turned up and totally elved him.
by Dave McCormine June 30, 2006
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elver

Petite cock.(if you read Memoirs of a Geisha, intercourse is analogous to an eel entering a cave and moving around to find the right spot and spitting when it likes the cave. COCK:EEL::BABY COCK:ELVER
awwww....our pet elver...so cute.
"kick the elver! ...don't kick the elver!"
(derived from south park: "kick the baby!")
elver's hiding in the elver bush..he's shy. where'd he go?
by gwad damn u December 28, 2005
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elven wine

A euphemism for engaging in kinky, fantasy sex. Only offered in red and white. No rose.
"A short time later, both Aragorn and Arwen were revived on a snack of elven wine and fruit"
by Oxfordlad January 8, 2015
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Elveese

Noun:
A relationship in which two individuals are romantically attracted to one another and acknowledges it, but does not intend or wish to practically date
You didn’t know? They’re both elveese with each other.
by whiterabbit25 December 23, 2021
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Elvesgay

A term to use when you're feeling hatred towards the extremely closeted gay man by the name of Elf (Elliot).
Ugh! ELVESGAY!
by ddy1xn September 18, 2023
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cheese elves

A race of elves that dwell in cheese. There is 3 races of cheese elves: the achwab (corn traders), the basketball cheese elves, and the pay-the-bills. They like to pay bills.
There are 27 billion cheese elves on our bodies.
by Chaouni-alien November 27, 2021
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