taint dial

when shitting in a public restroom, one may be afraid to rest your phone on a strange surface. the only other option is to rest it in your underwear as a safety net. depending on how the long the wipe takes, one may forget to remove the phone. once the pants are pulled up and snug, you may dial the phone with your taint

Damien: "i was on the toilet so long the other night, i forgot i rested a mean game of angry birds on my drawers. wouldn't you know when all was said and done, i taint dialed my mom. plus, the phone smelled like burnt tacos for a week."

butt dial
pocket dial

by luvitwenucallmebigpasta July 17, 2012

Taint Shelf

The tiny, almost useless, passenger accommodation on most modern sportsbikes. Often referred to as a “pillion”, this small, hard cushion has the effect of bludgeoning the area between the passenger’s genitals and anus throughout the ride. Because of its height relative to the driver and generally awkward seating position, these seats have a reputation for deterring passengers from wanting to ride along. These seats are a characteristic of the split tail style of motorcycles, opposed to the conventional “banana” seat (single piece) design. The prevalence of this pragmatically useless design can be attributed to the greatly improved aesthetics and improved control of the motorcycle while in full tuck, as the driver can scoot back into the shelf to secure themselves from sliding further rearward.

“Dude, do you remember having to ride bitch on my Zx10r?”
“Yeah bra, my ass still huts from that retarded taint shelf…”

by Thirdgengearhead May 12, 2015

Taint salad

The gusset of your underwear. The part that goes up the middle of your crotch.

Man, my chub rub has my taint salad so sweaty.

by Tunnel twins August 19, 2023

tainted berserker

A relative of the dingleberry, the tainted berserker is a fierce fleck of fecal matter that has invaded upon the grundle region (tainted) as a result of a particularly violent, berserker-style bowel movement.

Strauss invoked the power of Odin upon the porcelain throne of Assgard, thus requiring copious amounts of toilet paper to ensure that no tainted berserkers were creeping up on his family jewels.

by Caible October 10, 2013

taint tingler

When you wipe your ass and the toilet paper stacks up so high that it tickles your ass and balls when you flush

That shit I just took was a taint tingler

by johnnydigher April 7, 2015

Twiddly Taint

when the taint has so much curly pubic hair it looks like an afro, commonly seen on African American males.

Bro did you see Jared butt-naked at the party last night? He has a massive cock!
All I could see was that Colin Kaepernick lookin twiddly taint, that man needs a shave!

by Le Laguna May 12, 2019

Tainted Meat

When a girl (eg. Caitlin) is ragged about by a famous rapper (eg. Big T) she is then tainted and no men would want to enter her cave of doom.

Nah mate her batty stinks she’s also tainted meat due to getting a big Blackpool slong inside her.

by PadddeeTheNonce February 29, 2020