chuck norris dont have a chin....he just has an extra fist under his beard
chuck norris dont gotta mow....he simply stares at the grass and dares it to grow
when the boogeyman goes to sleep..he checks his closet for chuck norris
chuck norris uses a night light... not cause he is afraid of the dark....cause the darks afraid of chuck norris.
chuck norris can count to infinity.............twice
chuck norris can eat a bowl of diamonds every day for breakfast..........with no milk
chuck norris dont gotta mow....he simply stares at the grass and dares it to grow
when the boogeyman goes to sleep..he checks his closet for chuck norris
chuck norris uses a night light... not cause he is afraid of the dark....cause the darks afraid of chuck norris.
chuck norris can count to infinity.............twice
chuck norris can eat a bowl of diamonds every day for breakfast..........with no milk
by *~* burpie *~* March 29, 2009
Get the chuck norrismug. A phrase used to describe how well known a fact is. If someone does not know some thing obvious, they are either Chuck Norris or dead.
by canada blows October 10, 2005
Get the Chuck Norris or Deadmug. "Did you hear about that guy who Chuck Norris flipped?"
"No, what happened?"
"He kicked a man so hard his kids exploded!"
"No, what happened?"
"He kicked a man so hard his kids exploded!"
by JamddL August 20, 2011
Get the Chuck Norris Flipmug. The name of the toughest guy in Hollywood. Many references to Chuck Norris's toughness have been made. Some examples follow.
1) If you rearrange the letters in Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris will kill you.
2) Someone actually asked for Chuck Norris's autograph. He now has a permanent footprint carved into his forehead.
1) If you rearrange the letters in Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris will kill you.
2) Someone actually asked for Chuck Norris's autograph. He now has a permanent footprint carved into his forehead.
3) Chuck Norris doesn't bathe...Water asks permission to make contact with Chuck Norris's skin.
4) Chuck Norris doesn't grocery shop. Food comes to Chuck Norris in fear of Chuck Norris looking for food.
5) A man once said that Chuck Norris isn't that tough. Pieces of this man are still orbiting the Earth.
6) What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper soaked in the blood of the reporter who wrote a negative review about one of Chuck Norris's movies.
7) Three blind mice gave Chuck Norris a dirty look.....once.
8) Chuck Norris doesn't fight. Nobody's that stupid.
9) The four horsemen of the Apocalypse were hired after Chuck Norris quit
10) Chuck Norris was slated to star in "The Matrix" until the writers realized that the movie would then have only been a second or two long.
11) Chuck Norris doesn't give you the finger. He breaks all of yours.
12) If it looks like Chuck Norris might be late for something; time slows itself down.
13) Chuck Norris once got caught in the rain. This region of Earth is now known as the Sahara Desert. Rain will never fuck with Chuck Norris again.
14) A man once asked Chuck Norris to define his feminine qualities. This man has become the deepest human ever buried.
15) One day while Chuck Norris was salmon fishing with his bare hands he saw a huge Kodiak bear. The bear played dead.
4) Chuck Norris doesn't grocery shop. Food comes to Chuck Norris in fear of Chuck Norris looking for food.
5) A man once said that Chuck Norris isn't that tough. Pieces of this man are still orbiting the Earth.
6) What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper soaked in the blood of the reporter who wrote a negative review about one of Chuck Norris's movies.
7) Three blind mice gave Chuck Norris a dirty look.....once.
8) Chuck Norris doesn't fight. Nobody's that stupid.
9) The four horsemen of the Apocalypse were hired after Chuck Norris quit
10) Chuck Norris was slated to star in "The Matrix" until the writers realized that the movie would then have only been a second or two long.
11) Chuck Norris doesn't give you the finger. He breaks all of yours.
12) If it looks like Chuck Norris might be late for something; time slows itself down.
13) Chuck Norris once got caught in the rain. This region of Earth is now known as the Sahara Desert. Rain will never fuck with Chuck Norris again.
14) A man once asked Chuck Norris to define his feminine qualities. This man has become the deepest human ever buried.
15) One day while Chuck Norris was salmon fishing with his bare hands he saw a huge Kodiak bear. The bear played dead.
by thedude1963 April 20, 2013
Get the chuck norrismug. Must be spelled with all capital letters in order to be correct, or you'll be roundhouse kicked through the fifth dimension.
While Jesus was the son of God, CHUCK NORRIS was the father of god.
Some facts include:
Jesus can walk on water, inpressive? CHUCK NORRIS can swim through earth.
CHUCK NORRIS is so straight, he never touched a single man in his life, whenever he gave a man a roundhouse kick, he was merely kicking the space in between his foot and his victim's face. (like in the movies, but all victims still died from massive head trauma.)
CHUCK NORRIS can divide by 0.
CHUCK NORRIS is watching...always.
CHUCK NORRIS's daily excercise routine includes wrestling bears, holding back airplanes with his bear hands, pushing trains, and lifting mountains with ease.
CHUCK NORRIS was born 10 March 1940, the Cold War ended 11 March 1940, just saying.
While Jesus was the son of God, CHUCK NORRIS was the father of god.
Some facts include:
Jesus can walk on water, inpressive? CHUCK NORRIS can swim through earth.
CHUCK NORRIS is so straight, he never touched a single man in his life, whenever he gave a man a roundhouse kick, he was merely kicking the space in between his foot and his victim's face. (like in the movies, but all victims still died from massive head trauma.)
CHUCK NORRIS can divide by 0.
CHUCK NORRIS is watching...always.
CHUCK NORRIS's daily excercise routine includes wrestling bears, holding back airplanes with his bear hands, pushing trains, and lifting mountains with ease.
CHUCK NORRIS was born 10 March 1940, the Cold War ended 11 March 1940, just saying.
This concludes my definition of chuck norris. (A dimensional rift opens before me as the all mighty roundhouse kick of justice bends reality itself while almost making contact with my face. Don't forget to capitalize! )
by The Urban Dick January 21, 2011
Get the CHUCK NORRISmug. by polar dave November 21, 2011
Get the dirty chuck norrismug. A list of twelve morals and guidelines writting by chuck Norris. This list is commonly used as a guide to the pupils of Chun Kuk Do, a Korean based martial art also created by Norris.
The code is as follows:
1. I will develop myself to the maximum of my potential in all ways.
2. I will forget the mistakes of the past and press on to greater achievements.
3. I will always be in a positive frame of mind and convey this feeling to every person I meet.
4. I will continually work at developing love, happiness, and loyalty in my family and acknowlege that no other success will compenstate for failure in the home.
5. I will work for the good in all people and make them feel worthwhile.
6. If have nothing good to say about a person, I will say nothing.
7. I will give so much time to the improvement of myself I will have no time to criticise others.
8. I will always be as enthusiastic about the successes of others as I am about my own.
9. I will maintain an attitude of open-mindness towards another person's viewpoint while still holding fast to what I know to be true and honest.
10. I will maintain respect for authority and demonstrate this respect at all times.
11. I will always remain loyal to God, my country, my family and my friends.
12. I will remain highly goal-oriented throughout my life because that positive attitude helps my family, my country and myself.
The code is as follows:
1. I will develop myself to the maximum of my potential in all ways.
2. I will forget the mistakes of the past and press on to greater achievements.
3. I will always be in a positive frame of mind and convey this feeling to every person I meet.
4. I will continually work at developing love, happiness, and loyalty in my family and acknowlege that no other success will compenstate for failure in the home.
5. I will work for the good in all people and make them feel worthwhile.
6. If have nothing good to say about a person, I will say nothing.
7. I will give so much time to the improvement of myself I will have no time to criticise others.
8. I will always be as enthusiastic about the successes of others as I am about my own.
9. I will maintain an attitude of open-mindness towards another person's viewpoint while still holding fast to what I know to be true and honest.
10. I will maintain respect for authority and demonstrate this respect at all times.
11. I will always remain loyal to God, my country, my family and my friends.
12. I will remain highly goal-oriented throughout my life because that positive attitude helps my family, my country and myself.
Before recieving her purple belt, the young Chun Kuk Do student had to recite three lines from Chuck Norris's Code of Ethics.
by TheGammaGeek March 19, 2011
Get the Chuck Norris's Code of Ethicsmug.