The act of pleasuring oneself using the palm of their hand to enclose only the bell of the penis, resembling a cage over a lobster.
Phillip: “Hey, Dave! How did your date with Linda go last night? You get any action?”
(Not) Dave: “Nah man..” *sigh* “She had to split beefo dinn. But don’t worry ‘bout ya boi tho. Treated myself to a lobster cage!” 😎👉👉 🦞
Phillip: “Wait. Who the fuck are you?”
(Not) Dave: “Nah man..” *sigh* “She had to split beefo dinn. But don’t worry ‘bout ya boi tho. Treated myself to a lobster cage!” 😎👉👉 🦞
Phillip: “Wait. Who the fuck are you?”
by Not Dave. June 3, 2020
Any excuse for getting out of work, an obligation or promise. Sometimes thought to be a sexual euphemism, but not. A reason to be lazy.
A. Boss: Can you stay late this evening, we have to ship twenty more units before 5pm?
Employee: Sorry, boss, but I have to get home as soon as I can to clean the hamster cage!
B. Person 1: Can I get that money back that you borrowed last week?
Person 2: Sorry, but I have to get home as soon as possible to clean the hamster cage!
Employee: Sorry, boss, but I have to get home as soon as I can to clean the hamster cage!
B. Person 1: Can I get that money back that you borrowed last week?
Person 2: Sorry, but I have to get home as soon as possible to clean the hamster cage!
Danny said he was at a Dave Matthews band concert and all he could see were a bunch of greasy cage rats trying to jump on stage.
by Mattricide February 6, 2018
by c*ckjugglingthundahkunt June 13, 2017
Cage man. Much more primitive and aggressive than your typical cave man. Where a cave man has the freedom to roam in and out of his cave at his leisure, the cage man spends its life confined to a small cage. Very rarely will a cage man escape this torment. But when it does, it will unleash the type of hell a cave man could only dream of.
by lucas_579_ March 25, 2021
When you and a group of friends pass a bunch of espresso around the table and everyone takes a shot. Typically performed prior to cramming for an assignment or project late at night
"If we're gonna get this done before tomorrow we gotta do an Italian rage cage first, I'm fading fast"
by BagelsMan March 14, 2023
I now realize I haven't been properly counting the parts... So, this is whatever part we're at now.
Cain "I HAVE A CHALLENGE!"
God "Okie dokie."
Cain "I will retrieve a thing and Abel will retrieve a thing and then you will decide which of the things is the best thing!"
God "Sounds fun."
Cain "Let's go Abel." *Grabs Abel*
Abel "Ow... I'm coming... Jeez..."
*Later in the forest*
Cain "Where in the hell did Abel run off to..." 🤔
Snake "If you're looking for your brother he's already left to bring his offering to God."
Cain "Damn! I still haven't found a thing... Wait, who are you?"
Snake "My name is *Snake* Er... Shit...😮 💨 God damn it..."
Cain "You're not a snake tho-"
Snake "I KNOW 😖👌... What I am not. 😤 Ok... I heard about your little game and I'd like to help. Here. Take it." 😈
Cain "A cube?"
Snake "Yup. Cube. That idiot's first choice ALWAYS cube. With this, you'll win. Without a doubt."
Cain "Really? Great! Thanks Snake!" *runs off*
Snake "My name isn't... 😮 💨 God damn it..."
Cain "I HAVE A CHALLENGE!"
God "Okie dokie."
Cain "I will retrieve a thing and Abel will retrieve a thing and then you will decide which of the things is the best thing!"
God "Sounds fun."
Cain "Let's go Abel." *Grabs Abel*
Abel "Ow... I'm coming... Jeez..."
*Later in the forest*
Cain "Where in the hell did Abel run off to..." 🤔
Snake "If you're looking for your brother he's already left to bring his offering to God."
Cain "Damn! I still haven't found a thing... Wait, who are you?"
Snake "My name is *Snake* Er... Shit...😮 💨 God damn it..."
Cain "You're not a snake tho-"
Snake "I KNOW 😖👌... What I am not. 😤 Ok... I heard about your little game and I'd like to help. Here. Take it." 😈
Cain "A cube?"
Snake "Yup. Cube. That idiot's first choice ALWAYS cube. With this, you'll win. Without a doubt."
Cain "Really? Great! Thanks Snake!" *runs off*
Snake "My name isn't... 😮 💨 God damn it..."
*Back at the farm*
Cain "I have returned! And here is my offering! BEHOLD!!! A CUBE!" 😁
God "Oh, well alright. That's pretty good man. Abel? Whatcha got?"
Abel "Um... Well... Orb?"
God "OH NO WAY! ORB!? Yeah that's tight. Abel wins. Definitely."
Abel "AAAYY!!"
Cain "Wh... What? How? How could I lose!?"
God "Well, I mean, if you would have brought the orb you would have won, right?"
Cain 😾 *Stares at Abel*
God "Now, you got that look in your eye that a cat gets when it's about to-"
Snake "HOW'D YOU LIKE YOUR CUBE JACKASS!? AHAHAHAHAHA! You DID choose the cube ri-HOLY SHIT!!! 😱 Did you see that guy just mangle the other dudes brain cage!? Oh! That is gruesome! Were you about to say 'fuck the shit out of somebody'? Because that... That is what that guy just did to THAT guys cranium. WOW!"
God "Aw, come on *Snake* Er..." 😳
Snake "Ohohoho! It's not *Snake* remember? Remember that thing you did? It's Snake now! Ahahahahahaha!"
God 😮 💨
Snake "I mean you had to have known right? Would the other one have killed THAT one if HE would have lost? Just let him win! God... You and your orb obsession I swear..."
God "I... Was hoping I was wrong..."
Cain "I have returned! And here is my offering! BEHOLD!!! A CUBE!" 😁
God "Oh, well alright. That's pretty good man. Abel? Whatcha got?"
Abel "Um... Well... Orb?"
God "OH NO WAY! ORB!? Yeah that's tight. Abel wins. Definitely."
Abel "AAAYY!!"
Cain "Wh... What? How? How could I lose!?"
God "Well, I mean, if you would have brought the orb you would have won, right?"
Cain 😾 *Stares at Abel*
God "Now, you got that look in your eye that a cat gets when it's about to-"
Snake "HOW'D YOU LIKE YOUR CUBE JACKASS!? AHAHAHAHAHA! You DID choose the cube ri-HOLY SHIT!!! 😱 Did you see that guy just mangle the other dudes brain cage!? Oh! That is gruesome! Were you about to say 'fuck the shit out of somebody'? Because that... That is what that guy just did to THAT guys cranium. WOW!"
God "Aw, come on *Snake* Er..." 😳
Snake "Ohohoho! It's not *Snake* remember? Remember that thing you did? It's Snake now! Ahahahahahaha!"
God 😮 💨
Snake "I mean you had to have known right? Would the other one have killed THAT one if HE would have lost? Just let him win! God... You and your orb obsession I swear..."
God "I... Was hoping I was wrong..."
by Hym Iam February 22, 2023