Hilo Handjob

When you carve out the inside of a block of Spam and use it as a makeshift Fleshlight. Post-coitus, served cold with a slice of pineapple and a Steinlager.

I went home and treated myself to a Hilo Handjob last night.

by Flailure Jimbob September 13, 2022

Michigan Handjob

When someone gives you a handjob with mittens on.

It was so fkn cold outside, Suzy had to give him a Michigan handjob so she could stay warm.

by Mommymilker1000 May 3, 2022

stinky handjob

A particular handjob exhibiting a particularly odiferous smell, ie) Hagrid and/or haggis

Bro that was a stinky handjob!

by waxonjackson420 June 23, 2023

handjob magnet

someone who only gets as far as getting a handjob while inticipating more.

Dude I can't laid, I'm too much of a handjob magnet.

by cum dumpster March 20, 2016

Handjob

To fap on someone, specifically another man.

Mario came over and give his buddy Luigi a good old handjob.

by Whodoievencare December 15, 2022

Halliburton Handjob

The act of jerking someone off to distract them from the Alaskan Pipeline that’s about to be shoved up their ass.

Most frequently employed by DC lobbyists on various segments of the American public and by Amber Heard on unsuspecting romantic partners.

1. Dazzled by the company’s offer of thousands of good-paying factory jobs in exchange for tax cuts and reduced regulations, the city council was once again fooled by the old Halliburton Handjob.

2. After hearing of her boyfriend Brodie’s infidelity, Justine organized a gangbang and ambushed Brodie with a Halliburton Handjob in front of all his friends.

by Call Me Ahab January 20, 2024

Bronx Handjob

Punching someone in the dick, quickly and repeatedly

Lucas introducing metachlorians to explain The Force pissed us off so much we held him down and gave him a Bronx Handjob

by UnexpectedBacon November 10, 2024