scottish carpentry

The term is not used to describe the quality of Scottish Carpenters (who are craftsmen/women and do great work!)

The term is used to describe the linear rage within the Scottish soul - A progressive reaction to a progressive in-justice that has no real cause - A 'slow-burn' explosion. This is best described through the medium of poetry:

Scottish Carpentry

Owit, Aya, Mammy Daddy!
A hit ma thumb wi' a hammer
An’ that wis fuckin' sore

Christ all-bloody mighty!
Noo a’ve fuckin’ drapped it
It's fell on ma fuckin' toe

Cuntin' fuckin' bastardin' hammer!
The blood's goin' in ma eye

A loast the plot, heedered the nail
Everything must die!!

Aaaaaaah fuckin' hate wid!

I suffer from Scottish Carpentry and now I hate wood! (In this example, 'wood' can be substituted for any other noun or verb.)

by Jackson Greenhorn September 16, 2020

Scottish serving

a fuck load of food (a very very large portion of food) e.g 3 plates of pizza

Lad 1 : I've just had 4 plates of haggis and i'm not even full!
Lad 2 : That's a Scottish serving that mate!

by THE_KING125 June 5, 2017

Scottish Hook

Similar to a “Canadien hook”, the Scottish hook is performed by taking a golf club and hooking someone with the club from behind in-between the legs, hitting them in the balls

On the golf course today, I Scottish Hooked Joe during his swing

by Cellucci June 30, 2020

Scottish gardner

Mixing scotch with a wine

I had a scottish gardner last night at that wedding.

by Gonzo4413 July 9, 2022

Scottish Suckdown

The 36 hour session following the chubby Irishman showing up to the pub with The Jug.

Shane and I are midway through a legendary Scottish Suckdown somewhere In the middle of South Ayrshire.

by Claret Kings July 20, 2024

Scottish Toboggan

An anal train of three or more kilted-men, with a courtesy reach-around toot for the “engine.”

“You bring the scotch, and I’ll save you a spot in the Scottish Toboggan tonight”

by DMixylodian August 25, 2021

Scottish Beating

A well and good raw beating garnished with an extremely hard hit to the genitals

In an attempt to make my community safe, I gave a random drug dealer in my neighborhood a Scottish beating.

by Yiteziah April 29, 2021