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Coffee crack

A white person that owns a coffee beanery, where coffee is brewed. Americans or people who love drinking coffee, a person who drinks way too much coffee. Americans who love coffee or Starbucks.
I love coffee, I'm a coffee crack. I drink it every day.

Uncle Craig owns a coffee beanery, yup he's a coffee beaner, just kidding.

Americans can't get enough coffee, I guess we're a coffee beaner nation.

Stop drinking so much coffee you coffee beaner.
by Equal crack October 2, 2016
mugGet the Coffee crackmug.

Coffee Pinch

The need to defecate after drinking a cup of coffee.
I just drank a venti Starbucks. Imma bout to take a coffee pinch.
by Eaton Holgoode January 30, 2018
mugGet the Coffee Pinchmug.

Miserable Coffee

A cup of coffee, usually Maxwell House, that is drunk in a miserable; sad and depressing, cold situation, to either make the situation either less or even more miserable.
Ugh, what a morning, I'm gonna go get another cup of miserable coffee.
by T405ED March 9, 2009
mugGet the Miserable Coffeemug.

Adjusted Coffee

A coffee that has one or more shots of an alcoholic spirit stirred through.
Tea or coffee?

Adjusted coffee would be great.
by StreetyAus September 8, 2010
mugGet the Adjusted Coffeemug.

Freezing Coffee

the sexual act where one puts frozen coffee cubes up one's ass
person 1: I just gave my man the freezing coffee!
person 2: what the fuck?
by Freezing Coffee January 2, 2022
mugGet the Freezing Coffeemug.

coffee paradox

When even the simplest task is impossible to perform before drinking coffee.
From Socrates theory that sometimes making coffee is too complex to tackle before drinking coffee.
That giant mess on the counter occurred because of coffee paradox. I put the grounds in, I put the water in, and I turned it on. But I forgot to put the pot under that water drippy thingy so now I'm sucking the coffee out of this towel until I get enough coffee in me to do it correctly.
by barkinspider December 6, 2013
mugGet the coffee paradoxmug.

Coffee Simp

Someone who knows the true secret to life long happiness is coffee, the truest love of them all.
Rio is the worlds biggest coffee simp. Luckily, she knows how to turn it on first thing every morning to get the day started off right.
by Handy_manny69 December 23, 2020
mugGet the Coffee Simpmug.

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