Schrodinger's Keys

When car keys are misplaced, their location is unknown as well as their non-location. Therefore, they exist as a wave function in all locations which collapses upon observation of the keys following The Heisenberg-Schrodinger Lost Key Postulate. Which also hypothesized that you cannot simultaneously know the locations something isn't and not know where it is.

That party was wild, lost my keys but I found them in the FREEZER this morning! You really dont know where your keys aren't till you find them, totally like Schrodinger's Keys!!!

by aalh November 12, 2014

Foreign Keys

When you attempt to type something with your keyboard but it outputs some weird-ass French shit.

*SMS*
Joe: Hey Mary want to go out tonighté
Mary: What's the E thingy?
Joe: Oh sorry, I have a bad case of Foreign Keys.
Joe: Hey Mary want to go out tonight?*

Ps; Joe never got the date. Not because of foreign keys, but because of double texting.

by StinkyDubeau August 31, 2016

Universal Key

An expression describing any of various heavy objects that is able to break glass, hence being the universal key for houses and cars in both emergency and illegal situations.

"We're never getting out of this desert if we can't get the car open!"
"Don't worry! I found a universal key!"
*sound of glass breaking*

by ClivetheRock July 16, 2020

Turned the Key

The act of burping whilst eating out a girl, then slapping her stomach to let it out in the form of a queef.

Jane "Did you just make me queef?"
Jack "No, I just turned the key."

by Hugh Janus69420 October 22, 2020

major key

The most important thing/the most crucial aspect

Getting drunk is the major key to having fun tonight

by tsizz13 July 5, 2016

John Key

Pony tail. Named for the New Zealand Prime minister's well-known fondness for pulling women and little girls' pony tails.

Hey man, your hair's getting real long.
I know, I have to wear it in a John Key at work.

by Caspin April 26, 2016

Backdoor Key

n. The act of opening one's backdoor, that is, anal sex

"Hey, you know I wanna be your backdoor key, its about time I opened it up"

John: "Did you hear about Matt?"
Chris: "No what happened?"
John: "While he was fucking Shirley she gave him the key to her backdoor"

by Mitch Tight and Bright March 22, 2011