Absolut Value

The value of one's weight in absolut vodka. Multiply weight in lbs by 14.08 (Absolut vodka is roughly 88 cents per ounce).

"See that girl over there, the really skinny one?"
"Oh shit! She is so fucking skinny."
"I bet her absolut value is only 1300"
"I'd say 1200."
"Shiiet."

absolute value absolute vodka absolut vodka

by bennydre April 30, 2013

Absolute Unit

Thick, Meat head, one that only thinks about their “unit”. Socially inept. No other thought can get past their “unit”.

That creepy douche was an absolute unit.

by chuckeltard September 9, 2020

absolute koon

A crazy black man

Tyrone: YAH BRO, JUST HIT THE JAX OFF A GIRLS THIGH!
Zach: You're an absolute koon!

by zacthemac October 31, 2019

absolute fuckin unit

a chubby, spotty girl with a massive nose and forehead

she is an absolute fuckin unit

by absolutefuckinunit March 9, 2019

the absolute SEXIEST man alive

dom is the sexiest man alive and he loves watching gay midget hardcore anal hentai

somebody walks into doms room...
dom is naked and he glittering somehow and in the back round you see hentai porn
Man"what are doing"
Dom"what do you think i'm doing"
Man"you are the absolute SEXIEST man alive"

by me kill YOU December 15, 2022

absolute distress

Stomach issues. Usually diarrhea and/or vomiting

Person 1: hey you coming out tonight?
Person 2: no, I'm in absolute distress
Person 1: ah, that sucks. Feel better fam.

by YoyoMaFam July 26, 2022

Absolution

Absolution: When you giving it to your wife from behind but you suddenly have the urge to take a big shit and your son comes right on time to swap you and you keep hearing your wife's moans as you lay down the biggest turd of the history of turds

Man 1 : I am so happy I have a family now, used absolution yesterday. Great way to bond more with your son
Man 2: I know its those small things that matter.

by geoxd657 April 13, 2018