There are several definitions floating around out there - but this is an original scenario and should be considered an authentic Cactus Jack henceforth -
If lonely in the desert, take a small cactus and carefully remove all needles. Insert a knife in the bottom and hollow out the pulp. You should now have a flap of cactus skin with a nicely lubricated, aloey, gooey lining. Carefully insert two fingers and feel around the inside looking for any "ingrown needles". Once satisfied that your cactus meets all safety requirements, you may proceed to have sex with it. Afterwards, rinse and repeat as desired. The flap will fold easily and can be kept discreetly in your pocket.
If lonely in the desert, take a small cactus and carefully remove all needles. Insert a knife in the bottom and hollow out the pulp. You should now have a flap of cactus skin with a nicely lubricated, aloey, gooey lining. Carefully insert two fingers and feel around the inside looking for any "ingrown needles". Once satisfied that your cactus meets all safety requirements, you may proceed to have sex with it. Afterwards, rinse and repeat as desired. The flap will fold easily and can be kept discreetly in your pocket.
When Casey was doing infantry training out in the desert, I heard he got lonely in his fighting hole and made himself up a nice little Cactus Jack for company.
by Daddy Ruxpin November 9, 2010
Get the Cactus Jack mug.When a mans pubes are so thick and coarse that when he pulls out after sex several of his pubes are still stuck in the womans pubus region (like when you touch a cactus)
1. Oh man, My vag is sore, shawns got a major "cactus cock"
2. "I had sex with a guy who had cactus cock and i've been pulling his pubes out of my thighs and labia for days" exclaimed Emily
2. "I had sex with a guy who had cactus cock and i've been pulling his pubes out of my thighs and labia for days" exclaimed Emily
by em-dash July 6, 2009
Get the cactus cock mug.Related Words
craction
• Cract
• cractivate
• cractivist
• cractus
• cactus
• Cactus Jack
• Crabtree
• Cactapus
• Cactus Cock
by Boscrangles July 9, 2005
Get the craction mug.by LizardInACan April 27, 2016
Get the cactus mug.when the hair on your nuts resembles
the prickly needles of a cactus, as a
result of going extended lengths of
time between shaving.
the prickly needles of a cactus, as a
result of going extended lengths of
time between shaving.
by BLACKFRANK October 22, 2008
Get the Cactus Sack mug.(v). to slap the cactus, to be slapping the cactus, to have slapped the cactus.
A phrase used upon the realization that you are (or even within the act of) doing something worthy of a *facepalm* only it is worse. It is also the more exciting substitute for calling someone dumb, or stupid.
A phrase used upon the realization that you are (or even within the act of) doing something worthy of a *facepalm* only it is worse. It is also the more exciting substitute for calling someone dumb, or stupid.
"Sarah was definitely slapped the cactus last night - she turned the stove on, forgot that she had, and proceeded to set her laundry down - thankfully she only singed her eyebrows when she tried to put the fire out with the contents of a suspicious water bottle that turned out to be full of vodka"
Sam: "Come on man, you HAVE to admit, Shelby is pretty hott"
Tim: "Dude, stop slapping the cactus - she looks like a mule"
Sam: "Come on man, you HAVE to admit, Shelby is pretty hott"
Tim: "Dude, stop slapping the cactus - she looks like a mule"
by Sienna Shay October 3, 2010
Get the Slapping the Cactus mug.That group of women (every guy has at least one) who wish they could get bridal for a guy, but percieved life circumstances prevent them from pursuing the goal, so they talk trash about said guy or try to stonewall him socially. A variation of the cock block squad.
Innocent Girl#1: "Wow, look at Big Marty's Pimp Aura! He's dreamy!"
Crabtree Committe Member#1: "What? Didn't you hear he's a faggot? What planet are you from you fat redhead bitch? Bow down to your new Cunt Nazi!!!"
Innocent Girl#1: "Um, yes... I like Paris Hilton. He's just another dumb asshole Nelly loving Nigger. Thank you Miss, may I have another.(groan)..."
Crabtree Committe Member#1: "What? Didn't you hear he's a faggot? What planet are you from you fat redhead bitch? Bow down to your new Cunt Nazi!!!"
Innocent Girl#1: "Um, yes... I like Paris Hilton. He's just another dumb asshole Nelly loving Nigger. Thank you Miss, may I have another.(groan)..."
by See you on the field September 5, 2005
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