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CHUCK NORRIS

Must be spelled with all capital letters in order to be correct, or you'll be roundhouse kicked through the fifth dimension.

While Jesus was the son of God, CHUCK NORRIS was the father of god.

Some facts include:

Jesus can walk on water, inpressive? CHUCK NORRIS can swim through earth.

CHUCK NORRIS is so straight, he never touched a single man in his life, whenever he gave a man a roundhouse kick, he was merely kicking the space in between his foot and his victim's face. (like in the movies, but all victims still died from massive head trauma.)

CHUCK NORRIS can divide by 0.

CHUCK NORRIS is watching...always.

CHUCK NORRIS's daily excercise routine includes wrestling bears, holding back airplanes with his bear hands, pushing trains, and lifting mountains with ease.

CHUCK NORRIS was born 10 March 1940, the Cold War ended 11 March 1940, just saying.
This concludes my definition of chuck norris. (A dimensional rift opens before me as the all mighty roundhouse kick of justice bends reality itself while almost making contact with my face. Don't forget to capitalize! )
by The Urban Dick January 21, 2011
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Chuck Norris or Dead

A phrase used to describe how well known a fact is. If someone does not know some thing obvious, they are either Chuck Norris or dead.
That guy doesn't know that men sit down to pee. He's either Chuck Norris or dead.
by canada blows October 10, 2005
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Chuck Norris Flip

Using both meth and PCP at the same time. It is said to give you nearly Chuck Norris-like strength.
"Did you hear about that guy who Chuck Norris flipped?"
"No, what happened?"
"He kicked a man so hard his kids exploded!"
by JamddL August 20, 2011
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Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris is ga-AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
by Chuck norris the god July 9, 2010
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Chuck Norris

You cannot define Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris is the Definition.
by [insert platypus noise here] January 29, 2010
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Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris is a state of being, it means "Omnipotent," so to feel or be Chuck Norris, is to feel an unlimited source of power.
Guy 1: I am feeling rather Chuck Norris today.
Guy 2: Dude, stop being so pretentious, this is why we hate you.
by $ynchr0 November 26, 2011
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Chuck Norris

The absolute bosstrocity and godliness of this man cannot be described in words....yes, he is that amazing. In the rating of bossest things in the Universe, he is above any god. Above anything else in sight and mind. You don't touch this man. He is untouchable. He is unfrigginebelieveable. He is...Chuck Norris. You cannot argue. No matter what you say or think, opinions don't matter. It is fact. Chuck Norris is more than a god.
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and it killed reports estimate 14 people. Then it blew up a few seconds later.
When you search up to find Chuck Norris on Google and click I'm feeling lucky, you don't find a link. Chuck Norris finds you.
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his father did.
by Anti-Everything You Say August 26, 2013
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