Church Grab

1) When someone makes a sexual advance on another person in a church or other place of worship. 2) A sexual rendezvous at a religious institution.
I gave Susan a church grab about half-way through service, when they asked everyone to greet their neighbors.
by Pteropus February 13, 2021
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Church friend

Friends people claim to be from church but are actually from something more suspicious. Such as an orgy, sex cult, or dog fighting ring.
I was hanging out with my "church friends" yesterday. I felt things I haven't in a long while ;)
by Gamer34 April 17, 2022
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Church History

A soul-sucking and pointless course you are forced to take your junior year at Mount de Sales. Taught by an insane Filipino lady, it is designed to make your brain implode before the final exam. Everyone sleeps in the class and no one learns a single thing because the teacher just goes off on monologues for an hour and a half and no one can understand her accent. Then comes the final exam and you're expected to know everything that happened from Jesus' crucifixion to the Diet of Worms. Whatever the fuck that is.
Mom: So what'd you learn in church history today?

Me: Oh, I learned about all the different heresies, protestantism, etc. We've also had about 54385798327549 bad popes.

Sue: Church history is the biggest waste of life.

Me: I do my precalc homework in that class.

Me: So... this Church history exam....

Ellen: Fuck that shit.
by screaminghallelujah6 June 13, 2011
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church kink

someone who really wants to have sex or gets off on the idea of having sex in a church
bro i have such a church kink
by herbeveevebbe March 27, 2022
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Church steepling

Like an Eiffel Tower but instead you hold hands and sing kumbaya.
Yo dude, we were church steepling this girl the other night and we matched pitches during kumbaya
by Phtbtmgrlz October 23, 2019
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church crazy

When a parent who is usually a normal person turns into a raging angry demon on Sundays. This usually occurs because they care deeply about their image and want their families to appear perfect to other churchgoers.
Damn, mom is screaming at John for forgetting to iron his shirt for church! Looks like she's gone church crazy.
by PlasticCup December 05, 2022
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remy church

Rat church is the church that is devoted to worshiping remy, mass starts at 11:03 on the third Monday of the month and we will do the following:
1. Light the candles of the rat (remy)saying remy (next candle) my rattitouile (next) the rat(next) of(next) all (next) my dreams (next) I praise you(next) my rattitoule(next) may the world(next) remember (next) your(next) name
2.we say lines from the ratatouille and sing some hymns.
3.we eat remys cheese and then blow out the candles while reciting the same passage.
by Bugsx January 12, 2021
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