Skip to main content

Christopher Columbus

People still celebrate him for some reason. He is some old white dude who took advantage of the Native Americans and did very concerning things to them. He doesn't deserve a holiday and he is all around a dick.
You: Did you here its Christopher Columbus day?
Me: Oh that asshole? Who "discovered America" even though he didn't?
Christopher Columbus mug front
Get the Christopher Columbus mug.
See more merch

Christopher Columbus

a BITCH. didn't "discover" shit. there's a fucking HOLIDAY for this colonizing mf. he stole land from a minority group and spread diseases, some of which came from animals... think that one through for a second. schools will teach you about this mf and praise his crackerjack ass when in reality he did nothing great.
Jae: Who the hell is Christopher Columbus?
Brian: A crackerjack, colonizing, mayo monkey p.o.s who enslaved natives and sold their kids into a sex ring.

Christopher Columbus

When you go to the bathroom in another department at work to leave the vilest shit possible.
I had to go over to General Assembly to get some parts and Christopher Columbus'd while I was there.

Christopher Columbus

When you take a shit and leave it for the next person to discover it
I had to poop so bad in the Waffle House. When I walked in there was a Christopher Columbus starring at me!

Christopher Columbus

Christopher Columbus (verb) to pompously offer up old, established information as if it is newsworthy or profound.
“Brian Christopher Columbused the entire band about the history of the blues after watching a documentary over the weekend.
Christopher Columbus by Corncakes December 3, 2023

Christopher Columbus High School 

A high school where all the kids are always in the juul room instead of class
Girl: What school do you go to
Boy: Christopher Columbus High School
Girl: OMG can I suck your dick please

Christopher Columbus Effect 

When someone discovers something great. Then, someone else takes that and calls it his own. Suddenly, everyone knows that person #2 "discovered" it. Really annoying when you're person #1. I'm sure we've all been in this situation before!
Person #1: Hey dude, look at this new strategy i just found! It cuts lots of time off of my score!
Person #2: HEY EVERYONE I JUST FOUND THIS NEW TACTIC I CAN BEAT YOU ALL NOW!
Person #1: Dude, that's the Christopher Columbus Effect. You can't just take me work!