The Paper Shreds

Small, painful paper cuts one recieves from the act of sexual intercourse with a book, or magazine.

synonym- The Shreds

(7:25:26 PM) Andrew: you read me like a book
(7:25:38 PM) Adam: i fucked your mom like a book
(7:25:50 PM) Andrew: u didn't get the paper shreds did you???

by Wallnerboy October 30, 2007

The Pipers Beak

A condition resulting in a vast amount of excess forskin collecting at the tip of a gentelman's penis...may smell as a consequence of the cheesey deposit found under the skin

'put it away gangster!-u got The pipers Beak bad!'

'Sorry lad...does it stink?'

'Lets av a wiff......na, ur good!'

by Gorillamonsoon 12345 May 8, 2009

Cutting the Paper

The act of giving your partner a paper cut in and around her vagina, and then giving it to her.

Hey Jim, I was just cutting the paper with Candice, and I came in two seconds.

by dirtymidget69 June 15, 2010

Reading the Paper

A phrase used to nonchalantly tell someone that you are smoking marijuana. The phrase brings with it a large number of puns that can be quite humerus.

Friend: (Calls you on the phone) Hey man, what are you doing?

You: I'm just sitting around 'reading the paper'!

Friend: Sweet, so I guess you got the 'news'!

You: Totally got the 'news'!

by TheGreatBigD August 26, 2014

eat the paper

This expression is from the pot business. When many kilos were being sold, either the buyer or seller had to "eat the paper" that is, the weight of all the paper that covered the product.

With over 500 kilos for sale, we knew we had to eat the paper to make the buyer smile.

by pedro seguro April 22, 2019

Lick The Paper Towel

Eating a creampie off of someones underwear.

After he was cuckled, we made him "lick the paper towel"

by TowelsForHim April 15, 2021

Read the paper

What you should do when you know regular media ( except radio and newspapers) will drive you off the rails

Don't listen to fox News or CNN, go read the paper.

by Uncle Dimma January 18, 2022