Proximity Father

A father only willing to be a father if his children are geographically convenient to get to.

"I hadn't seen my dad in years. Only when I was in town did he want to play dad for his kids, being a proximity father and all."

by Racon2R August 25, 2009

Proximity crush

1. An attraction to someone not particularly attractive, developed from frequent and prolonged exposure to the person.

2. The subject of the attraction.

I have such a proximity crush on my new teammate.

That new girl in class is my proximity crush.

by MystJake June 5, 2020

proximate

prox· i· mate | \ˈpräk-sə-mət \ 1) A person you mate with who is close to you by kinship or in some other way. 2) A person who mates with you on behalf of another, i.e. a proxy mate.

Jack: Hey, are you and your second cousin still fuck buddies?
John: No. She moved to California, but she sent me Jill as her proximate, and she's awesome.
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Mike Pence is Donald Trump's kochsucker proximate for the one percenters.

by Len Bakerloo December 22, 2018

proximity friendship

A friendship that is formed when two people are put in a situation outside of their control. Most applicable when the two individuals have little in common and otherwise would not form a relationship.

Jim: "So how did you and Bob meet? The two of you don't seem like you have much in common."
Frank: "I was on a skiing trip and Bob and I ended up on the same gondola...I guess you could call it a proximity friendship."

by Jonny T October 1, 2007

proximity mine

Pooping into the tank of a toilet, and taking the float out. This will make poopy water overflow from the toilet tank. The pure genious of this action is that most people almost always leave the bathroom while the tank is still filling.

"I went to that frat house last night and planted a proximity mine, by taking the float out and pooping in the tank of one of their toilets."

by Pantanto April 30, 2004

proximity sensor

The nerve sensor inside your rectum that causes you to feel an increasing urgency to poop the closer you get to a toilet. The proximity sensor is activated by an already present need to take a crap. Once in the vicinity of a restroom, your proximity sensor will alert you that you are running out of time to reach the toilet and drop your pants, or suffer the consequences...

As I walked towards the bathroom, cheeks tightly clenched, my proximity sensor went crazy and I nearly pooped my pants before I could sit down.

by igottago... July 29, 2011

Proximity Tech Support

When your computer program isn't working right but when a friend or co-worker stands next to you, it starts to work, even though they hadn't done anything to assist you.

-Will you just come and stand next to my computer? I need some proximity tech support.
-Ah, thanks! Now its printing.

by Cherhawkinof October 16, 2009