"and then my cousin got murdered..."

The new phrase that one should say to spice up a lame story instead of "And then I found five dollars."

Originated from an entry on www.fmylife.com where a person said "My girlfriend was having a really bad day, so I said 'I'm sure you will get over it soon.' To which she responded 'My cousin got murdered today.' Fml."

A sure fire way to make your lame stories exciting.

Carson: "I was walking along the street and I noticed my shoe was untied and..."
Tim: "Is this story going any where?"
Carson: "Yes! Like I said, I was walking along the street and I noticed my shoe was untied "and then my cousin got murdered..."
Tim: "Holy shit! Tell me more!?"

by Marilyn Beale April 28, 2009

And then I punched him/her in the face.

A phrase added to the end of a story that once told, sounded less cool than you thought.

I spent yesterday with my gramma. We shopped and had lunch. (weird silence from audience) ....and then I punched him/her in the face.

by Stevensgirlie January 20, 2011

And then there were two

A phrase used to reduce the awkwardness when you get left with a person you dont really know (eg when alot of people go to the toilet or bar)

*catie, jayne, chris, aaron, mary and tom ALL go to the bog, leaving you and the pretty girl you dont know yet*

*awkward silence*

*you* "hmmm, and then there were two.......

best used BEFORE the awkward silence to show your not at all bothered by the scenario

by Jaberdeen November 8, 2009

and then I fucked your cousin

1.A phrase used at the end of a story that had really no point to be told to someone. Often, it is used at the end of a boring story to make it seem more interesting and worthwhile. Alternate versions of this phrase include "and then I found five dollars" and "and then I kicked a hobo", however, this phrase emphasizes how we are all really "cousins" in a universal context, suggesting that it is ok to fuck your cousin.

2. Often used as a true statement.

Max: Everything was great! We were all getting drunk, having a good time... and then I fucked your cousin...
Pedro:Well, at least your sister is now up for grabs...

by The Gerb May 18, 2010

And then I was bacon

The experience of being really high. This phrase may often appear at the end of a story about getting stoned, especially after taking various powerful hallucinogens. Originally from an online comic about smoking salvia, this phrase has become a somewhat uncommon stoner meme.

My friend and I went to smoke some salvia behind our old middle school, and then I was bacon.

by WyleType September 4, 2011

and then I found five dollars

a phrase used at the end of a story that had really no point to be told to someone. used at the end of boring stories to make them seem more interesting and worthwhile.

"yesterday i went to the fridge and took out a yogurt but put it back and got an apple instead.
...and then i found 5 dollars."

by defying gravity May 23, 2004

And then I found 20 dollars

Phrase often added by annoying people to the end of a really bad story, mocking their own story's badness by admitting the necessity for something interesting to happen at the end. Or ironic mocking of these people.

Person 1: "So in the end I gave him back his monkey feces and didn't invite him up when he dropped me off. Isn't that amazing?"
Person 2: "..."
Person 1: "and then I found 20 dollars!"

by djk December 9, 2003