Crusty for Jesus

Having such deep passion for the lord that the only way to function is through the divine process of crusting oneself. The back pressure from clenching your butt cheeks hard enough together is a good starting point.

When a spenkwich is sad, he gets crusty for Jesus

by Fingaboi1996 May 7, 2024

Jesus

A Guy that has a cult about him and his father.

Jesus is going to turn your semen into wine

by The Bitch of Sin December 29, 2024

Jesus loves you

A phrase used when someone wants to share the love of Jesus Christ, it is important to use this phrase in the correct context as some may become offended.

I've seen a lot of sorry and disrespectful definitions so I thought I would do the phrase justice, I might get downvoted for this but as the scriptures say "If the world hate you, ye know that it hated me before it hated you." (John 15:18-19).

-Hi, how has your day been
-Not very good
-Oh, I hope it gets better, Jesus loves you.
-Thank you

by rayfire1234 October 10, 2024

Jesus

Keanu Reeves Doppelgänger

"Jesus is in the new Matrix movie"

by PotRoastLover21 December 19, 2021

Jesus Hernandez C

literally so h0t just ask me out already

hint - my zodiac starts with a a

“hey Jesus Hernandez C ur annoying”

by urfavhater November 22, 2021

Jesus

What if Jesus was a fat guy with curly/bushy and dark hair, but nobody knows it because they always see a skinny guy with fair hair that looks like a Northern European in a stained glass window at a church? What if the church wanted the image that would draw in the most money, instead of the true image, isn't that a possibility?

Nobody was alive back when Jesus was, so he might have been a fat guy with curly/bushy hair that looks nothing like what people usually see at church.

by Solid Mantis February 12, 2021

Jesus Alvarez

a cute boy , usually Hispanic popular' you are not worth his time unless your nice or you earn it he seems mean but is really sweet and kind he is competitive good hair athletic usually plays a sport like football or wrestling is awesome with babies and loves them short dosent weigh much but still super cute he has a bit of a bubble butt usually kinda dumb cause he can't realize the perfect girl is right in front of him

Girl A: Man you are so lucky to be dating Jesus Alvarez

Girl B: ikr he is so sweet but it took some time for him to like me but he is amazing

by hiramlodge June 10, 2018