Jumping for Jesus

The act of committing suicide by jumping off a high surface.

The victims of 9/11 were all Jumping for Jesus

by anonymous July 19, 2021

Jesus it’s early

When you wake up at 3 in the afternoon and need a beer.

Jesus it’s early, lys, get me a beer!

by Junior A god August 1, 2018

Jesus Piece

A man’s genitals, specifically the shaft

Girl throw throw those yams on my Jesus piece

by Jahnutz August 3, 2024

Jesus

Jesus is a dumbass he likes Rylie but won’t admit it he has orange hair and looks like ginger overall he is in love with Rylie

Jesus likes Rylie

by I do t know November 24, 2021

Jesus Syndrome

When a person believes someone (who won or didn't win the presidency, politicians in general) or some fairytale entity (jesus, the devil) is responsible for why their lives suck and bad things always happen to them and allow those entities to instill fear (fear of going to hell, fear of becoming "cattle breeding" by men if Trump wins etc). A true adult takes accountability and responsibility for their own life, outcomes, happiness, and as such creates the life they want without blaming anyone else. Blaming others keeps one in a state of being a child, sheeple, as they never grow up and are truly responsible for their own actions.

Better watch what you say to John Doe, he suffers Jesus Syndrome and will use it as ammunition to never do anything in life and swear you were the reason his entire life was ruined forever.

by GO DJ HaKa November 16, 2024

Satanic Jesus

Jesus with horns, a pitchfork and a devil's tail adorned with a crown of thorns. He has a shepherd's crook and a pentagram necklace. Ruler of Hellven. He walks on cloven hoof. You must forgive him for everybody's sins since he's taking responsibility for them.

"The rod and the staff of Satanic Jesus is the comforting key to eternal salivation!"

by ANOTHERDEADROMEO April 27, 2023

Jesus loves you

A phrase used when someone wants to share the love of Jesus Christ, it is important to use this phrase in the correct context as some may become offended.

I've seen a lot of sorry and disrespectful definitions so I thought I would do the phrase justice, I might get downvoted for this but as the scriptures say "If the world hate you, ye know that it hated me before it hated you." (John 15:18-19).

-Hi, how has your day been
-Not very good
-Oh, I hope it gets better, Jesus loves you.
-Thank you

by rayfire1234 October 10, 2024