Jesus Card

When someone justifies their frowned-upon, or even illegal, actions by comparing themself to Jesus disobeying the Roman Empire by spread his beliefs. The general idea is that if Jesus was doing the right thing by broke the law in order to spread the word of god, then it is already for them to break the law in order to <insert action here>.

"Sure, its illegal, but did that stop Jesus when the Romans said his mission was illegal???"
*off to the side*
"Holy shit, he pulled the fuckin' Jesus Card!!"

by Xavien35449510 February 2, 2024

Jesus

Jesus is of the best person’s you will ever meet.He has a huge personality and really looks for the best qualities of other people. He is also very funny. He likes to hangout and explore the world. He is a very charming and intelligent person but he does have one side affect

He is toxic.

Jesus is the best

by anonymous November 22, 2021

Jesus Canastuj

The realest mf. HE OWNS THE STREETS YA HEARD. PREACH FOR THIS GUY CUZ HE A PIMP AMEN.

Jesus Canastuj be balling wit money

by Chuyy101 November 23, 2021

Jesus

The son of God according to the Christian Faith. He is charitable, kind and loves everyone, even minorities, despite what "Christians" may say. It has been claimed that he died and resurrected, though this has been unproven. Notably, on May 31st 2025, he was reborn as a Furry Femboy identical in appearance to the fictional character Reggie The Rat made by Whygena.

Person 1: THE HELL DO YOU MEAN JESUS GOT REBORN AS A FURRY FEMBOY WHAT THE FUCK
Person 2: I can't tell if this is blasphemy or not due to it being true.
Person 3: this is the funniest shit ever oh my god

by Silly Billy, unintelligent June 2, 2025

Mother of Jesus Christ

Something you yell out when your team is losing or you have to pay a expensive bill.

John- Mother of Jesus Christ i can't believe the Patriots are losing to the Raiders

Me- I guess the patriots just suck

by Crzyfkr October 9, 2010

Jesus pussy

Used in any context

Mainly used to express feelings or emotions

Jesus pussy, that girl has a phat ass!

by Brenny111 September 19, 2022

Jesus Godamn Fuck Shit Damn Bitch Motherfucker!

When a person, usually in response to pain, emotional or physical, begins a crazed angry yelling to vent their frustration, often going down the list of the curse words they know.

I stubbed my toe
"Jesus Godamn Fuck Shit Damn Bitch Motherfucker!" I yelled

by Leonidas of Alexandria March 5, 2024