To masturbate
Comes from Christian parents telling their kids “Every time you masturbate, Jesus cries”
Jesus is interchangeable with Hod in this context
Comes from Christian parents telling their kids “Every time you masturbate, Jesus cries”
Jesus is interchangeable with Hod in this context
An example of “making Jesus cry”
Friend 1:Did you get laid last night?
Friend 2: No, I was so horny I had to make Jesus cry
Friend 1: Gross, tmi
Friend 1:Did you get laid last night?
Friend 2: No, I was so horny I had to make Jesus cry
Friend 1: Gross, tmi
by Comic Sanders May 31, 2019
Get the Making Jesus crymug. by JesusLover2028 August 29, 2022
Get the Creepy Jesusmug. A guy the church has made look like a superhero to sell people their agenda. What if Jesus was a short fat guy who had dark, curly, bushy hair and olive skin? A guy that looked more like what people think Friar tuck would look like than what Robin hood would look like, except a little bit more Mediterranean on the surface.
There are fair skinned European looking Jews now, after thousands of years of living in Europe, but back in the time of Jesus, a Jew from a part of Asia bordering the Mediterranean was unlikely to look like what the Church described him as, if he was ever a real person and not a myth.
by Solid Mantis March 5, 2021
Get the Jesusmug. Dinobot from the 1996 cartoon Beast Wars, known for giving his life to save early human ancestors in eighth episode of the second season; “Code of Hero.”
"Tell Raptor Jesus’ tale to those who ask. Tell it truly, the ill deeds along with the good, and let him be judged accordingly. The rest is silence."
by thegoddamnsiege January 2, 2021
Get the Raptor Jesusmug. "You going to church today?" "Nah, I'm going to chirch." "What's that?" "It's where you can go and worship our lord and savior Jesus Chrust." "Go fuck yourself."
by Communistically-Delicious May 3, 2018
Get the jesus chrustmug. person 1: hey have you heard of Jesus Christ the Nazarene
person 2: why of course he's God in the flesh!
person 2: why of course he's God in the flesh!
by IFuckingHateEve December 4, 2023
Get the Jesus Christ the Nazarenemug. Midwest slang for orange juice containing the drug propylhexedrine aka Benzedrex. The drug can be bought over the counter in the form of a nasal inhaler normally used for allergies. If you break the inhaler and take out the cotton inside and soak it in orange juice or any acidic beverage for 24 hours the active ingredient (propyl) is extracted. Propyl has similar effects to amphetamine and methamphetamine and induces a state of intense focus and euphoria. It is also horrible for your vascular system and causes severe vasoconstriction.
In simple terms you will go sicko mode and probably will end up on meth if you weren’t already when you took the Jesus Juice. It’s called Jesus Juice because it makes you feel like Jesus and it will bring you back from the dead.
In simple terms you will go sicko mode and probably will end up on meth if you weren’t already when you took the Jesus Juice. It’s called Jesus Juice because it makes you feel like Jesus and it will bring you back from the dead.
Me: Hey bro do you want some speed laced orange juice?
Homie: Oh, shit did you put your Vyvanse into OJ?
Me: Nah I ran out like a week ago, this is Jesus Juice! It feels just as good if not better. You can feel your brain cells dying so it must be good.
Homie: Oh, shit did you put your Vyvanse into OJ?
Me: Nah I ran out like a week ago, this is Jesus Juice! It feels just as good if not better. You can feel your brain cells dying so it must be good.
by danasp_42 December 27, 2019
Get the Jesus Juicemug.