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Walmart Wanker

A person who faps in a walmart bathroom stall originated from a true story that happened between me and my friend.
Dude : Whats that fapping noise coming from the walmart bathroom stall?

Dude #2 : AH SHIT ITS THE WALMART WANKER!!!
by SRPGShadow August 6, 2016
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Sports Wanker

adj; A term used to describe wankers that partake in sports; usually as a substitute for getting laid. Because of this, they will often become aroused by sports.
Jack: Dude, I was telling Tom about the time I nailed Lucy in this alley way but he just started talking about this football match that he won like a week ago.

Alex: Dont worry man, he's just a Sports wanker.

Jack: Yeah, what a tool.
by Simba//.. November 8, 2011
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Wanker’s Cramp

Wanker’s Cramp is a wrist cramp commonly recived after masturbating for long periods of time.
Example:
Billy recived wanker’s cramp during his attempt of the 60-minute masturbation challenge
by Bekfas December 18, 2018
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wonderwall wanker

A Wonderwall wanker is a person who typically claims to be an Oasis-fan but in reality only knows their one hit: Wonderwall.

A Wonderwall wanker can typically be seen at parties strumming away the same 4 fucking chords because it's the only fucking chords he knows.

A Wonderwall wanker often claims to be musically educated and knowledgable about music history and claims to like a lot of rockbands which he most likely never listened to: Nirvana, Oasis, Rolling Stones, The Beatles, Pink Floyd, Metallica, etc. but the sad truth is that he only knows hit-songs and probably listens to R&B when he is on his own and doesn't have to pretend to be a rockstar.

They look and dress extremely mainstream because the only reason they make an efford to learn 3 or 4 chords is to get laid. They know that only a select few girls like long hair and leather so they stick to what's in at the moment. Sometimes they can be seen wearing band merchandise but if you ask them about the first album of the band on their shirt they probably won't be able to answer you.
"Can you play a great song?"
"Sure! Let me play Wonderwall again!"

What a wonderwall wanker!
by WinstonBeWise November 20, 2013
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Fastrack Wanker

Someone who purchases and uses fastrack tickets to beat the queues at theme parks.
Have you only just come out of the ride? It's been ages!

I know. There were so many fastrack wankers going in before us.

The queue is really long. We should probably fastrack it.

But we don't want to be fastrack wankers!
by BLNTSVRT October 28, 2011
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physics wanker

A dweeb who gets his kicks by playing with 'male' and 'female' plugs in his lab.
He's staying late in the lab again? What a physics wanker. I hope he's got some surge protection.
by Gary LeCanard November 11, 2014
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Business Wanker

Low tier management, climbing the corporate ladder but just above peon and thinks they're the shit. Dresses in brand head to toe but drives a people carrier. Plays sport with other business wankers. Probably got a wankery name like Rory, Gavin or Gary
Gav is off to play golf with his fellow business wanker friends.
by Aimybot September 17, 2016
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