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Jesus's Army

Jesus's Army are a peaceful Christian organisation who usually drive around to their religious gatherings in rainbow or multi coloured vehicles usually dilapidated vans or mini buses. Jesus's Army love to spread the word of our Lord and Saviour through rustic songs acapella style or often led by tambourine's, maracas,spoons and entry level guitar playing.
Unfortunately due to Jesus's Army only feeling love and seeing good in their fellow man they can often fall foul of being abused by drunken thugs who will initially express a real interest in turning their sad lives around with Jesus's help only to blag free rides to their next watering hole and further cementing their own place in Hell.
Dave we've drank and gambled all our money on fruit machines. We literally only have enough for 4 more pints each with no cash machine visits available and we still need to get home with no money for a taxi.
Fear not there is some rainbow coloured van there with a heavy smell of marijuana and Christian love exuding from it. That is definitely Jesus's Army and if we tell them we are interested in signing up and turning our lives around with the help of the Lord I think we can blag a lift.
by Another pseudonymal August 5, 2022
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walmart jesus

also called low-bar jesus

noun / the phenomenon of men being praised for the smallest accomplishments. men doing the bare minimum and being worshipped as great men (doing something that women do and DO NOT receive praise for because its seen as their innate responsibility).
"he always changes the baby, hes the best father."
"that's just walmart jesus. the bar is subterranean"
by georgia011 June 9, 2022
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Jesus Freak

Someone more overt and sold out to Jesus than you.
Don, my friend, you have been carrying around that Bible and going to church a lot. Are you becoming a Jesus freak?
by Brother Donald June 16, 2022
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armani de jesus

Come armani play with us
by Juliacoolia July 3, 2022
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Jesus Christ

1. The name of God in the flesh in Christianity. Jesus Christ is apart of The Holy Trinity, comprised of God, Jesus, and The Holy Spirit.
2. An expletive to show disapproval or shock (at something).
(Fun fact) Christ is not his name, it comes from the Greek word "Christos" which means "the anointed one". So it actually means "Jesus the Anointed One".
Jesus Christ is our Lord and Savior.
Jesus Christ, Becky! WTF!?
by Maple420 August 11, 2022
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Jesus of the suburbs

Anyone who calls themselves Jesus of the suburbs is obviously full of shit.
Jesus of the suburbs was a great suburb leader
by Entity010 August 12, 2022
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Melatonin Jesus

Melatonin Jesus is a popular character from the absolute fucking AWESOME religion that is Melatonism.
If you are apart of the Melatonism religion and know who this guy is your a FUCKING GAMER HOLY SHIT I WANT TO RIP OUT THE TROUGHTS ON EVERYONE WHO DOESNT AGREE WITH YOUR OPINION. if you are apart of this religion your will get all the bitches like holy cow to many bitches, there will be so many bitches you will get the national #1 bitch gatherer in the entire world much like the Yoinky Sploinky dance move.
The creator of Melatonism and Melatonin Jesus is a YouTuber named MrGamingGuy and he is the founding father of Melatonism.
Guy 1: yo dude have you heard of Melatonism?
Guy 2: no what is it?
Guy 1: “gives 10 hours explanation on what Melatonism is and about all the achievements Melatonin Jesus has made”
Guy 2: holy shit I need to fucking kiss you on the moulth now
by MrGamingGuy August 21, 2022
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