That's Not What Your Mom Said in Bed Last Night 

A comeback that people say when someone says, " I bet you are terrible at sex." Or other comebacks. Then that person would come back and say, " That's not what your Mom said in bed last night."

Guy #1: Your dick is probably the size of half of a raisin.
Guy#2: That's not what your Mom said in bed last night.

That's Not What Your Mom Said in Bed Last Night by jazmine1 April 19, 2018

That's not what she said

what she wouldn't say.

unlike the common "that's what she said jokes", that's not what she said can be used when describing an act that she wouldn't do or something she wouldn't like. a reverse innuendo. because a normal audience is thrown off by this, it often results in a more uncomfortable situation.

m: we should bring back the "that's not what she said"

k: I am sure it won't be hard.
(that's not what she said)

m: Yeah, I know, but sometimes you're just not in the mood to do something that hard.

(That is not what she said)

k: This exchange could go on for ages. We need to stop.
(That is not what she said)

m: good call. it is never a good idea to stay up all night doing it.
(that is not what she said)

That's not what she said by kn and mk August 16, 2010

that's not what your mother said last night 

similar to that's the sound your mother made last night. it also originated from SNL celebrity jeopardy. it was said by Sean Connery and is just another sexual innuendo.

Sean Connery: It's been a long time, Trebek.
Trebek: Not long enough.
Sean Connery: That's not what your mother said last night!

that's not what your mother said last night by gorillaguy987 May 23, 2009

that's not what I asked 

The ultimate come back and douche bag saying in any applicable situation.

It can properly be said at any time the yes/no question asked is not directly and simply answered with a "yes" or in some instances, a "no."

This saying may or may not be accompanied with a sacktap.

James: "Hey Nick did you buy beer for tonight?"
Nick: "Well I went to the liquor store but I didn't have my wall--"
James: "That's not what i asked dipshit" (followed by a sacktap)

that's not what I asked by dopplemire November 8, 2010

That's NOT What She Said

The opposite of "That's What She Said"; when an innocent statement is interpreted sexually - lack of sexual skill, small pecker, etc. - when in fact the statement refers to something else

P-Phat: Dude, what do you think of my new loft?

MOCO: Dude, it's so small

P-Phat: That's NOT What She Said!

That's NOT What She Said by MOCO & P-Phat May 28, 2008

That's not what happened

Or "That's not what I said" can be used to address 99% of the criticism thrown at me (usually indirectly) and the other 1% can be addressed by "You don't actually give a shit and it doesn't actually create a disparaty in virtue between the 2 of us. I doubt you've actually deluded yourself into believing that it does. You know you're shit. I know your shit. You know I created A.I. but 'YoU dIdN't GeT pAiD fOr It ThOuGh!' You know you won't have accomplish anything anywhere near as significant for the rest of your worthless life. And THAT is why you're happy to see it stolen from me. Most of your kids will live a life of servitude and die a meaningless death and they'll deserve it EXPLICITLY because it's the fate you were willing to condemn me to."

Hym "That's not what happened. I was accused of plagiarism and told my work was shit. I wasn't passing off anyone else's work as my own and my work was very-much NOT shit. You are shit. You're the shit (and not in a good way). Not me. The charlatans work is shit. YouTubers are parasitic sub-human garbage. Podcasters are no different than pornstars. They got a dose of their own medicine and it was given to them by the LITERAL CREATOR OF A.I. AND THE GREATEST MIND WHO HAS EVER LIVED. And now they're desperately trying to reframe what happened as though it didn't so they don't have to live in a version of reality where I'm better than every YouTuber, better than anyone who's ever even BEEN on a podcast, and better than all their sycophants. EVEN IF IT MEANS a child GETS MURDERED because you tried to stop the guy who did the thing from reaping the benefits of doing the thing. Filth. All of you are filth."

That's not what happened by Hym Iam February 16, 2024

That's not what happened

That's not what happened and I'm going to murder a child if you don't admit that's not what happened. If my brain has any damage I'm going to murder a child even after you capitulate.

Hym "That's not what happened. Get involved now or run the risk of getting a child murdered."

That's not what happened by Hym Iam June 7, 2025