by thebsb July 26, 2020
Get the Luke Jesusmug. A guy named Jesus has many talents and is really good at being a dick when needed. But if you leave him alone, he can be a great friend, partner and lover. But the moment you push his buttons he’ll give you hell.
by Sausage! My ass!. November 23, 2021
Get the Jesusmug. Jesus's Army are a peaceful Christian organisation who usually drive around to their religious gatherings in rainbow or multi coloured vehicles usually dilapidated vans or mini buses. Jesus's Army love to spread the word of our Lord and Saviour through rustic songs acapella style or often led by tambourine's, maracas,spoons and entry level guitar playing.
Unfortunately due to Jesus's Army only feeling love and seeing good in their fellow man they can often fall foul of being abused by drunken thugs who will initially express a real interest in turning their sad lives around with Jesus's help only to blag free rides to their next watering hole and further cementing their own place in Hell.
Unfortunately due to Jesus's Army only feeling love and seeing good in their fellow man they can often fall foul of being abused by drunken thugs who will initially express a real interest in turning their sad lives around with Jesus's help only to blag free rides to their next watering hole and further cementing their own place in Hell.
Dave we've drank and gambled all our money on fruit machines. We literally only have enough for 4 more pints each with no cash machine visits available and we still need to get home with no money for a taxi.
Fear not there is some rainbow coloured van there with a heavy smell of marijuana and Christian love exuding from it. That is definitely Jesus's Army and if we tell them we are interested in signing up and turning our lives around with the help of the Lord I think we can blag a lift.
Fear not there is some rainbow coloured van there with a heavy smell of marijuana and Christian love exuding from it. That is definitely Jesus's Army and if we tell them we are interested in signing up and turning our lives around with the help of the Lord I think we can blag a lift.
by Another pseudonymal August 5, 2022
Get the Jesus's Armymug. by Sam lampost May 4, 2022
Get the Jesusmug. Jesus is Lord. He loves you so much that he died for your sins, a painful, brutal death. He didn’t want to, but he didn’t want you to have to suffer what he did. He chose YOU. He chose LOVE.
He rose again and lives in our hearts. Now you don’t have to bear the pain that he did. He knew that you would curse him,mock him and sin against him. Regardless, that didn’t stop him from giving you a chance at heaven, a chance at a better life where no suffering or tears exist. I can promise you the love you’ve felt on this earth is nothing compared to his.
Tomorrow is not promised so use it wisely. May God guide you and bless you, Amen.💗
He rose again and lives in our hearts. Now you don’t have to bear the pain that he did. He knew that you would curse him,mock him and sin against him. Regardless, that didn’t stop him from giving you a chance at heaven, a chance at a better life where no suffering or tears exist. I can promise you the love you’ve felt on this earth is nothing compared to his.
Tomorrow is not promised so use it wisely. May God guide you and bless you, Amen.💗
by Jesuschristisking December 21, 2024
Get the Jesusmug. 
