I wish I was Jared, 19

This phrase can be seen in the comment section of outrageous or otherwise shocking posts to express disturbance, confusion, or surprise. It refers to the popular vine “My name is Jared, I’m 19, and I never learned how to fucking read”

*A tweet vividly describing someones sexual fantasy involving feet, motor oil, 13 male strippers, toothpaste, used toilet paper, and a bidet*

Comment section:
“Man, I wish I was Jared, 19”

by Seen_too_much June 7, 2024

i wish a bitch would

hoping someone will carry out with what they're claiming to do (female)

Shanice said she was gonna clomp my head yesterday, i wish a bitch would

by Chpvlie December 19, 2023

Wishing Well of Doom

A woman who has a very deep vagina that you 'wish' you hadn't gone down. Usually smells of unholy rotting fish. Common occurrence after this experience is never to park that car there again.

Commonly referred to as Tiffany Crawford.

Dude I fucked that girl and she was a wishing well of doom

by bitchcanthandle July 4, 2016

<.7.9.7.6.>With The Smacked Backs Of The Back SMacks For THe Free, In THe Back Of THe Bus Is THe SUnflower Deed, You Wish YOu Knew What It Takes TO be Me, So All Of YOu Individuals Caled Dandelions "'THe Sunflower Deed'"<.7.9.7.6.>

<.7.9.7.6.>With The Smacked Backs Of The Back SMacks For THe Free, In THe Back Of THe Bus Is THe SUnflower Deed, You Wish YOu Knew What It Takes TO be Me, So All Of YOu Individuals Caled Dandelions "'THe Sunflower Deed'"<.7.9.7.6.>

<.7.9.7.6.>With The Smacked Backs Of The Back SMacks For THe Free, In THe Back Of THe Bus Is THe SUnflower Deed, You Wish YOu Knew What It Takes TO be Me, So All Of YOu Individuals Caled Dandelions "'THe Sunflower Deed'"<.7.9.7.6.>

by TheGeneralGenitalsPranksterian May 10, 2025

The Reverse Wishing Well

Where you do a shit so massive, you have to push it round the U bend in the toilet by hand.

My boy did a shit so massive he had to give it the reverse wishing well,

by Barry Stu Pid January 6, 2024

wish someone cared

the instant urge to flex your gf/bf on any social media

bro i “wish someone cared” it’s actually killing me i just wanna do it

by Dont make me nut November 21, 2021

Genie's wish

Genies wish When you smoke aphp and take gamma and fuck your partner from behind start faking a seizure and convulsing. once partner trys to help you rub head of your dick and cum in her eye

Wow dude I gave katsu Genie's wish last night.

by Jonesboeh June 11, 2022