Fart Reading

Commonly used online when someone claims to be a fast reader though they often misread or misunderstanding texts, failing to even see their own misspelling. First became common lingo on 4 chan /pol/.

Anon 1: You misread and turn things into something completely different
Anon 2: I just read fast, nothing wrong with fart reading.

by Marcellus Fredrick Binesworth June 17, 2022

accordion reading

Online reading phenomenon in which a person begins with a list of links to articles/blog entries from an RSS feed (such as Google Reader), and opens several as new browser tabs.

While reading through the tabs one by one, reducing their number, the person finds links to other articles/blog entries, which will be duly opened as additional tabs.

The result is that the number of tabs on the browser continually expands and contracts, accordion-style, and before you know it you've wasted half the day reading an endlessly regenerating stream of linked internet nonsense.

Guy 1: Dude, where have you been?
Guy 2: Sorry, got caught up in some accordion reading online - couldn't stop adding more and more new tabs of stuff to read. What, is it time for Church?
Guy 1: Um, it's actually Monday now.

by Peter Lorre February 4, 2010

Brayden read

Very gay and gets hard near men

Brayden read likes guys and watching porn

by Thick bittys 101 May 6, 2019

read/edit

In writing, or especially in typing, when you read over something you've already written and make modifications as you go. For example, you read "happy, joyful, optimistic" and change it to "happy, joyful, and optimistic." Read/editing is usually done in a casual situation, like a Facebook message to a friend, but can also apply to more serious situations, like your college application.

Martha was nervous about the message her text would send, so she spent a minute read/editing it.

by Lieutenant Commander DATA September 24, 2011

Read the zoom

Like reading the room but in COVID

‘You can’t say that. I wish he’d just read the Zoom‘

by Bangus Khan October 16, 2020

shit and read

Watching or scrolling through your phone while dropping a load

I took the longest shit and read this morning . I now have a toilet seat imprent on my ass!

by Try It June 14, 2015

Half Read

When someone only read something halfway. It's especially annoying during texting, leading to much confusion and miscommunication. Those jaded by this resort to phone calls for all major planning. This may result in a conflict with introverts who hate phone calls, and usually will not answer the phone, preferring to respond with a text. Thus a viscous cycle is born.

Bro #1: "Bro, where are you at?"
Bro #2: "At home chillin. What's up?"
Bro #1: "You're supposed to be picking me up for the game!"
Bro #2: *rereads texts* Damn, my bad bruh. I only half read."

by Yeti remains March 10, 2022