table bling

When your table is so crowded with vertical menus, little easels, spiral bound displays, plastic-encased specials, elaborate comdiments containers, napkin dispensers, floral displays, cardboard food advertisements, and crayons that you have barely any room on the tabletop before the food is even served - that's when you're suffering from table bling.

You go into a restaurant. Not the really nice kind, maybe, but not the kind with the arches on the roof. Your average chain restaurant. And you're sitting there with your friends. There are a lot of you around the table, and even before the wait staff brings you anything, you're already crowded. Why? Because there are all these *things* on the table. Vertical menu things and easel-based drink things and spiral bound dessert things and plastic encased specials things and an elaborate container with condiments in it plus some kind of fake floral thing and another brightly colored cardboard thing sticking out of a vase or carafe or whatever the heck it is and it's all garnished with a side of crayons (you're all adults out on business lunch and there are no kids whatsoever in the place). Table bling is gaudy, not worth the expense, and obnoxious... kind of like regular bling.

by Bonney Armstrong January 07, 2008

study table

the crappingest thing ever called you have to come in early in the morning at 7:00 and work on homework for 50 minutes 3 times just cause i'm getting a D in history and i'm on track.

going to study table is like having sex with a blender.

by poonani February 15, 2005

table general

The person who directs the movement, placement, and direction of food at the dinner table, particularly at a large meal or gathering. This can be achieved by democracy, but is more typically dictated by strength of character and who has the best spatial relations... or just the most experience with food.

"We were overwhelmed by the amount of food on the table for the 12-person Christmas dinner. Luckily Grandpa was an efficient table general.

by President Warren G. Harding December 28, 2010

flip a table

A term used to express one's sheer aggravation, madness, frustration, or anger at something.

If the bartender doesn't give me another shot of Jack Daniels, I am going to flip a table.

by Jilina September 29, 2005

Table Captain

Person that sits on the small side of the table at a restaurant and orders for everyone.

On a 4 x 8 table for 7 the person that sits on the 4 foot side is the table captain

by Blood Spartan June 22, 2007

table booty

Ass of such a size that it is suitable for use as one would use a table. While female is standing, ass in question must provide stable surface to place a can of beer .

"goddamn.....bitch gotta table booty"

by Aloysius Waukau August 25, 2006

bedside table

noun; a person, usually female, who uses their unfortunate partner as nothing more than a sex tool and then proceeds to take their money as payment for the best time of the partners life. The money should be left on the table before the partner leaves the next morning.

not to be confused with a prostitute or hooker

trevor - "did you see that girl on the track? kimber?"

daniel - "yeah she was such a bedside table, worth atleast 50 bucks"

by rhodez2013 October 01, 2009