Phantom Friend

Noun: A friend who is always there when they need something but never around when you need them, like a ghost.
Josh: So Kayla texted me at 4 am to let her into the building so some random guy could bang her. Yet when I asked her earlier in the day to look at her class notes she was "unavailable."
Matt: Wow, she is such a Phantom Friend.
by BoatzNHoez April 12, 2010
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Phantom Menace

Refers to a man with a boner walking or standing behind people while poking at them with his erect penis.
Damn! I just got Phantom Menaced!
by Pee in the park May 31, 2005
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phantom piss

Thinking you need to take a piss, only to find you don't when stood in front of the pan.
Thats the fourth phantom piss this morning. Wish I could squeeze out a piss and be done.
by nameisalwaystaken November 08, 2006
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Phantom Jobber

Someone who leaves the toilet in a mess. Normally by leaving sliding faece marks in the bowl. Occasionally they flush, sometimes they do not.


"You been to the shitter recently? The phantom jobber is back again, f**king skids everywhere"
by dirtdawg January 05, 2009
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Phantom Construction

When unnecessary cones, barrels, and lane shifts screw up your morning commute but there isn't a construction worker in sight. A/K/A/ government efficiency at its best.
I was half an hour late due to some phantom construction. Turns out, no one has worked on site in days.
by UDANONYMOUS August 16, 2010
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phantom jam

A traffic jam that seems to happen for absolutely no reason. No roadworks, no traffic lights, no car crashes, no nothing. Just a great big traffic jam.
The common driver is often left not only frustrated, but also confused, after coming out of a phantom jam.
by Atomik Spongeface June 16, 2008
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Phantom Roommate

Having a roommate or person that lives with you that you rarely see or hear from. Most common in colleges with students that live near campus but are required to live in dorms.
"Why is this half of your room empty?"

"Oh, I have a phantom roommate. that supposed to be his half"
by hitting the wall March 14, 2010
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