Dillys Law

If you are unable to joke about being a paedophile, you are one.

He won't joke about being a paedo, therefore under Dillys Law...he's a paedo

by Jamesrjbh May 20, 2019

spirit of the law

An alcoholic beverage that is used to bribe a government official to "cut you some slack" or "look the other way" during an inspection, audit, or investigation.

A classic "spirit of the law" joke, from an old 90's-era "Hagar the Horrible" cartoon:
IRS auditor: Hello, Mr. Horrible; I'm from the IRS, and I'm here to audit your income tax return.
Hagar (calling over his shoulder into the house): Bring me out a bottle of my best wine, Helga!
IRS auditor (making a huge huffy show of shocked indignance): You DARE try to BRIBE ME with a BOTTLE OF WINE?!??
Hagar (with cheerful imperturbability): Make that TWO bottles, Helga!
IRS auditor: (smiles broadly and closes his eyes in smug satisfaction --- hey, HE was no more morally-upstanding than the NEXT corrupt official; he just needed Hagar to "up the ante" a bit to get him to "take a soft approach" in his investigation! :P)

by QuacksO June 3, 2019

Law of Rhyme

Any statement which is uttered in rhyme MUST be considered the absolute truth.

Bylaw: The Law of Rhyme only applies when an adult talks. The Law of Rhyme does not apply when children rhyme. A child rhyme should usually be considered false.

To ignore the Law of Rhyme is considered a crime.

by The One True Savior June 4, 2019

Law of worthless teachers

the more you fit this category below the more useless the teacher/professor is to society.
1. number of kids about to fall asleep
2.number of kids absent
3. number of kids who goes to the restroom
4. number of kids who fail your class
5. number of kids who hates you <BIG ONE>
6. number of kids who drops out the first week of class

ex. JOHNNY was sleeping in class with 5 of his buddies. the teacher did nothing. He was so tired of teaching that he walked out to take a ciggy in the bathroom. half the class ditched the teacher to by KFC and watermelon on the side of the street just outside the school.

TEACH fits the Law of worthless teachers

by KFCmanagerLilice June 8, 2019

Murphy's Law of Gasoline Prices

"You can sit around at home till Doomsday and the prices at the pumps will stay fairly low, incessantly tempting you to travel. But the moment you decide to take off somewhere and head out on your trip, the price for a gallon of gas will go right through the roof!"

Gas-prices seemed fairly "stable" all summer, and so I delayed a road-trip for a while to "save up" or "accumulate" a number of errands so that hopefully my trip would be more cost-effective with regards to gas-consumption, but then when I stopped to fill up my tank in the morning when I was first heading out, the price had suddenly jumped over a quarter higher per gallon! Sounds like a classic case of "Murphy's Law of Gasoline Prices" to me!

by QuacksO September 12, 2019

Murphy's Law of Gambling

"You can patronize the slots till Doomsday or buy any number of scratch-off tickets and never gain any significant winnings, but then just as soon as you stop playing, the very next player will win big."

Many an addicted gamer believes in Murphy's Law of Gambling, even though it is indeed :"all chance" and thus seldom actually works out that way.

by QuacksO September 12, 2019

Van Mourik's Law

Van Mourik's Law states that "for every cup of coffee consumed, your learning rate will improve proportionally".

Gotta drink some more coffee. Van Mourik's law and all that...

by PutKevinBack September 18, 2019