Spooky Wank

A spooky wank is performed in bed. Lying on their back, the participant presses their buttocks firmly against the mattress and breaks wind. Whilst doing this, they close their eyes and imagine the resulting warm gust is a particularly arousing spirit that wishes to pass straight through right their rear and gain access their groin area.

Unfortunately, as the spirit is unable able to grasp or manipulate objects, the participant lends a helping hand.

Blanche: Are you doing anything nice for Halloween?

Daniel: Yes, I'll be having a spooky wank.

Blanche: Oh lovely. Please say hello to my great grandma if she stops by.

by 00moon00 October 15, 2021

Joke Wank

When someone tells a joke or anecdote but finds that they have only succeeded in making themselves laugh, a lot.

Grant was telling a story about how 'funny' something was the other day. He laughed throughout and when he had finished speaking, he only heard his own laughter. Grant had done a joke wank.

by samgoosejones November 24, 2013

Rib Wank

A failed attempt at a tit wank when the girls breasts are too small for proper wanking of the penis.

I was so pissed off that I couldn't get a proper tit wank off that girl. She had such under developed tits..She tried but it was a blatant Rib wank....I left feeling unfulfilled

by Girthy_Z November 8, 2010

Wank Face

A complete and total wanker, two faced. Bastard.

Can you believe what he did?! What a wank face!

by crazyarsedfly August 19, 2011

Bag of wank

Totally rubbish.absolutly crap.

Oh man that x factor is a bag of wank!

by marksladey November 3, 2006

wank shelter

A safe haven which could be limited to a closet, toilet, single room or a complete house were a male organism is able to produce semen by hand without being disturbed.

Kim: Have you seen Dennis?

Johan: I haven't seen him in ages
Olaf: Dennis has locked himself in his wank shelter.

by Dennissayshi November 18, 2016

Wank a Bank

A wank a bank is a large collection of porn that has been gathered up over a long period of time. eg a large collection of porn pictures from the interwebs.

steve: nice collection dave
dave: thanks, its my own personal wank a bank

by KevinMul February 4, 2010