"You can follow an 'unpopular' method or procedure 'till da cows come home' and nothing unusual will ever happen to 'justify' or 'vindicate' your unorthodox actions (and you'll likely get continually criticized by others for your chosen behavior), but then the ONE TIME when you eventually 'cave' and actually DO happen to follow the 'standard' or 'acceptable' protocol, THAT'S the solitary 'rogue occasion' when disaster will happen to strike --- something really bad will happen that would not have occurred if you had simply continued to follow your own 'pet' procedure that had seemed better/safer to begin with!"
My "super-long-term-driving-experienced" aunt had gotten fed up with my "back-seat driver" attempts to be helpful by telling her about vehicles that I'd see moving around fairly near our position when we'd be travelling someplace in her car, and so she had eventually asked me to just keep quiet and let here handle the driving herself. Well, of course, within a day or two, Murphy's Law of Exceptions decided to turn and bite me in da butt --- due to a view-obstructing sidewalk-mounted ad-sign, my aunt didn't notice an approaching car, but I did... naturally, that was the ONE TIME that I **didn't** tell her about it because she'd specifically asked me to keep my trap shut on instances like that, and so I'd ASSUMED (there's that word again!) that she'd observed the vehicle bearing down on the intersection. Well, as you might expect, we crashed, and there were multiple injuries in the other car! Can't win...!
by QuacksO March 9, 2019
Get the Murphy's Law of Exceptions mug."You can patronize the slots till Doomsday or buy any number of scratch-off tickets and never gain any significant winnings, but then just as soon as you stop playing, the very next player will win big."
Many an addicted gamer believes in Murphy's Law of Gambling, even though it is indeed :"all chance" and thus seldom actually works out that way.
by QuacksO September 12, 2019
Get the Murphy's Law of Gambling mug.Van Mourik's Law states that "for every cup of coffee consumed, your learning rate will improve proportionally".
by PutKevinBack September 18, 2019
Get the Van Mourik's Law mug."Your slumber-partner will snooze silently during periods that you're up and away from the boudoir, but then he will totally 'saw logs' whenever you're actually cohabitating with him --- and wanting to get some shut-eye --- in the same bed."
Perhaps many instances of Murphy's Law of Snoring stem from the snorer's needing more space to "spread out", which he would have whenever he has the whole bed to himself; being more cramped can restrict air-passages and so on..
by QuacksO September 29, 2019
Get the Murphy's Law of Snoring mug.Someone who utilizes the "reliable" bad-luck-causing syndrome of Murphy's Law by actually turning it his own benefit or that of his friends. Extra points if these other folks actually hire him for pay to "suffer on their behalf".
One excellent example of a Murphy's Law opportunist would be someone who hangs out his laundry to dry on an occasion when rain is desired.
by QuacksO August 11, 2019
Get the Murphy's Law opportunist mug."No matter where you stand, da breeze will invariably blow either towards you or in your face, causing you great difficulty in proceeding ahead and/or "cleanly"/effectively performing tasks dat involve/include vapors/particulates/liquids." (Think, Murphy's Law of Cigarette Smoke, or trying to bicycle someplace on a blustery day and da stiff wind keeps switching around so dat it's always hinderingly in your face --- never helpfully at your back --- both on your way to your destination AND on your way back home again!)
P.S. Oh yeah --- and don't even **consider** simply postponing outdoor activities till a "still spell" --- DAT will only mean multitudes of mosquitoes and black flies to torment you and make you WISH for a breeze!
P.S. Oh yeah --- and don't even **consider** simply postponing outdoor activities till a "still spell" --- DAT will only mean multitudes of mosquitoes and black flies to torment you and make you WISH for a breeze!
Two classic examples of da infuriating effects of Murphy's Law Of Wind-Direction would be (1) trying to water your hanging-basket plants on da front porch, but da watering-can's sprinkled droplets keep blowing backwards so dat da water both largely misses your plants and gets you soaking-wet, and (2) trying to employ toss-across collecting when gathering returnables along da highway, but having many of da thrown containers just blow right back onto your side of da road.
by QuacksO August 12, 2019
Get the Murphy's Law Of Wind-Direction mug."If you have to request assistance/advice from a store/office-employee, you will be obliged to wander all over da place and "search till Doomsday" to find someone who is not presently too occupied to listen to you. Yet once you finally receive your answer, THEN there will be ABSOLUTE MULTITUDES OF PERSONNEL just lounging around and making themselves available, and so you will feel like a total JACKA** for not having simply waited a few more minutes to ask your question, rather than wearing out your feet and legs from running all over da shop to find someone to ask!"
I spent over five minutes scampering up and down the aisles at Wally-World trying to find a "free" employee to ask about the availability of a certain product, but then afterwards, there were several non-busy staffpeople whom I met en-route back to my shopping-cart whom I could have asked just as easily at that point --- talk about a classic case of Murphy's Law of Staff-Availability! :P :P
by QuacksO August 26, 2019
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