Law of Rhyme

Any statement which is uttered in rhyme MUST be considered the absolute truth.

Bylaw: The Law of Rhyme only applies when an adult talks. The Law of Rhyme does not apply when children rhyme. A child rhyme should usually be considered false.

To ignore the Law of Rhyme is considered a crime.

by The One True Savior June 4, 2019

Law of worthless teachers

the more you fit this category below the more useless the teacher/professor is to society.
1. number of kids about to fall asleep
2.number of kids absent
3. number of kids who goes to the restroom
4. number of kids who fail your class
5. number of kids who hates you <BIG ONE>
6. number of kids who drops out the first week of class

ex. JOHNNY was sleeping in class with 5 of his buddies. the teacher did nothing. He was so tired of teaching that he walked out to take a ciggy in the bathroom. half the class ditched the teacher to by KFC and watermelon on the side of the street just outside the school.

TEACH fits the Law of worthless teachers

by KFCmanagerLilice June 8, 2019

Murphy's Law of Gambling

"You can patronize the slots till Doomsday or buy any number of scratch-off tickets and never gain any significant winnings, but then just as soon as you stop playing, the very next player will win big."

Many an addicted gamer believes in Murphy's Law of Gambling, even though it is indeed :"all chance" and thus seldom actually works out that way.

by QuacksO September 12, 2019

Van Mourik's Law

Van Mourik's Law states that "for every cup of coffee consumed, your learning rate will improve proportionally".

Gotta drink some more coffee. Van Mourik's law and all that...

by PutKevinBack September 18, 2019

Murphy's Law of Snoring

"Your slumber-partner will snooze silently during periods that you're up and away from the boudoir, but then he will totally 'saw logs' whenever you're actually cohabitating with him --- and wanting to get some shut-eye --- in the same bed."

Perhaps many instances of Murphy's Law of Snoring stem from the snorer's needing more space to "spread out", which he would have whenever he has the whole bed to himself; being more cramped can restrict air-passages and so on..

by QuacksO September 29, 2019

Murphy's Law opportunist

Someone who utilizes the "reliable" bad-luck-causing syndrome of Murphy's Law by actually turning it his own benefit or that of his friends. Extra points if these other folks actually hire him for pay to "suffer on their behalf".

One excellent example of a Murphy's Law opportunist would be someone who hangs out his laundry to dry on an occasion when rain is desired.

by QuacksO August 11, 2019

Murphy's Law Of Wind-Direction

"No matter where you stand, da breeze will invariably blow either towards you or in your face, causing you great difficulty in proceeding ahead and/or "cleanly"/effectively performing tasks dat involve/include vapors/particulates/liquids." (Think, Murphy's Law of Cigarette Smoke, or trying to bicycle someplace on a blustery day and da stiff wind keeps switching around so dat it's always hinderingly in your face --- never helpfully at your back --- both on your way to your destination AND on your way back home again!)
P.S. Oh yeah --- and don't even **consider** simply postponing outdoor activities till a "still spell" --- DAT will only mean multitudes of mosquitoes and black flies to torment you and make you WISH for a breeze!

Two classic examples of da infuriating effects of Murphy's Law Of Wind-Direction would be (1) trying to water your hanging-basket plants on da front porch, but da watering-can's sprinkled droplets keep blowing backwards so dat da water both largely misses your plants and gets you soaking-wet, and (2) trying to employ toss-across collecting when gathering returnables along da highway, but having many of da thrown containers just blow right back onto your side of da road.

by QuacksO August 12, 2019