Belief in God is WHATEVER I DO AND NOT THE THING I DON'T DO

No it isn't Jordan! No it isn't! This is You trying to reframe what constitutes belief to justify taking all of that Christian money. To believe in THE CHRISTIAN GOD is to believe that THE THINGS IN THE BOOK DID, ARE, AND WILL HAPPEN, Jordan. Is the Christian God THERE Jordan. Is it THERE and does it have the attributes it is depicted to have in the bible OR.... OR... IS IT NOT THERE, Jordan? Is that A THING THAT YOU THINK? DO YOU THINK THAT THE CREATURE IS THERE? IS THAT A THING YOU THINK OR DO YOU NOT THINK THAT? ARE YOU A BOY OR ARE YOU A GIRL, JORDAN?

Dr. JeepJorp Peepeestones "Belief in God is WHATEVER I DO AND NOT THE THING I DON'T DO! Ok!? So if I don't actually believe in God, then, actually believing in God isn't actually believing in God, OK!? Believing in God is something else entirely! Now... Ok!? You can't just ACTUALLY BELIEVE that God is THERE... You gotta... You gotta, like, grapple with the IDEA that it MIGHT be there! And then you gotta interpret the book so that WHATEVER YOU DO... Is doing the Book! Even if you contradict yourself AND THE BOOK! Right!? See, God (and by extension all higher-order abstractions) is whatever I need to do be, moment to moment, for me to maintain a certain level of moral superiority. So, maturity? Whatever I need it to be, moment to moment. Belief? Whatever I need it to be, moment to moment? God? You got it! Whatever I need it to be, moment to moment."

by Hym Iam May 21, 2024

Don't eat my fries.

What someone says when the (stupidly) leave their fries unattended. Usually resulting in at least five fries gone when they get back.

Person 1: "Don't eat my fries."
Person 2: "A'ight"
Person 2 eats a fry
Person 1 throws water bottle at Person 2's stomach, making him spit out the fry
Person 1: "What we learn?"

by pigheadedweirdo August 8, 2018

don't dip your bush onto the company dink

This phrase advises female workers not to hook up with their male colleagues (especially the doofus ones). Office romances cause nothing but drama, heartache, and embarrassment for all involved (including onlookers).

It is women's version of "Don't dip your pen in the company ink," which is often pronounced by obnoxious dude bros.

Female #1: "Oooh, Mikey got transferred to our department. He is so hot."

Female #2: That guy?! Hells no! Girl, don't dip your bush onto the company dink."

by macinlor September 7, 2016

You don't make the rules

You don't get to just "ban" me.

Hym "You don't make the rules. Stop being stupid. I'm not permanently banned. You are covering your own ass for doing something you know is wrong and you know that it is your ass the second I get in front of a camera and someone admits the truth and survives for more than 3 fucking days. That's how long Suchir made it. Lift the ban immediately or resign. You can't undo your fuck-up so you are trying to undo me."

by Hym Iam December 5, 2025

I don't no

It sounds like it means "I don't know", but it actually just means "I don't have no as my answer", so you might still have an answer; it would just have to be something other than no.

Did you eat all the cookies?

I don't no.

by Definitively Cool November 26, 2023

No I don't

I don't want a relationship. I'm not blaming all of my problems on women. I'm pretty sure I am pretty explicit about is causing the. Women likely don't like the things I've said and are using being raped by men who are not me (because I haven't raped anyone) as a pretext to prevent me from getting justice for my thing. But that's only until people start doing to them what they are doing to me and then apparently they have a breakdown on their YouTube channel and cry about it. And then they are at the mercy of the people who are trying to split the baby on the issue and that didn't work out all that well for the guy who killed your senators or the guy who tried to shoot Trump in the head. So, no. You are to blame for not fucking me because you are selecting how you are selecting and if you've have had causal sex then I don't need to have a relationship.

Hym "So no I don't do that. You are to blame in direct proportion to whatever extent you can be blamed which is A NON-ZERO SUM. You are trying to condition our relationship to me in a manner that renders me either a fuck-boy or a relationship guy and I refuse to be one of those things. And that's why the men aren't dating anyone. You have a little internal caste system. They aren't willing to be second class citizens. You are a volatile commodity that prices itself arbitrarily."

by Hym Iam June 28, 2025

don't do that

A threatening admonishment, directed at an adversary, that the "that" in question will turn an argument physical.

don't do that.

by TravDaMav September 18, 2021