DJ nonce

Hides little kids under the dj boards whilst fucking a kid in the ass to the beat of the music.

You see that black van that’s dj nonce

by Liam Proctor November 15, 2018

squirrel nonce

Someone who is such a nonce that they are no longer satisfied by children and turn to the next annoying, chubby cheeked thing. The squirrel.

John: Look at how that squirrel’s tail moves!
Barry: Oh John you’re a right squirrel nonce you

by Reesebby October 1, 2018

Jack the Nonce

nonce.

“have u seen jack the nonce?”
“yeah he was watching some 5 year olds”

by nonce9H January 19, 2019

biffy nonce

A peadophile who is also very stupid

Chrissie: so Will, how was work today?

Will: it was alright, we arrested a peado who wasn’t just into kids, but was dead stupid too

Chrissie: ah, you caught yourself a biffy nonce

by Chilly1998 May 11, 2020

accidental nonce

Someone who ends up in trouble for a specific crime, completely unaware of their actions.

Blimey Guvnor, I didn't realise. I'm not a proper nonce, just an accidental nonce.

by Duwduw January 7, 2019

Bread Nonce

A person with an inability to consume bread, or any other gluten based consumables without an immediate and often long lasting effect to their digestive system.

Sometimes referred to as 'coeliacs' the person can often be identified by the need to constantly remind all that they can't eat gluten.

'Well I was going to suggest pizza hut for lunch, but we've got Bren the bread Nonce with us.'

by BrettRambo November 17, 2021

Rex Nonce

A bloke called Rex who’s just a raging pedo

Ellis: What’s Rex Nonce doing?
Joe: Probably fiddling kids.

by PenisQueefer692572 February 18, 2023