An unconventional method of deciding whether your newborn will have an innie or outie belly button. After the baby is delivered, the doctor asks the mother to stand up in the middle of the room. He gathers his nurses around the mother, and 'serves' the bay like a tennis ball.
It differs from conventional tetherball in that the object of the game is not for either team to wrap the ball around the pole (or in our case, the baby around the mother) a certain number of times in their respective direction, but rather to be the one with the hit that induces the breaking of the umbilical cord.
Since the purpose of the game is to leave to form of the belly button up to chance, the doctor does not cut the umbilical cord down shorter after it has broken, no matter how long it is.
Our lawyers recommend not to play next to windows. While baby's bones are made of cartilage, a high enough velocity can still shatter a window, causing hundreds of dollars in damage. Health care in America is expensive enough as it is; having to pay extra for a delivery in order to compensate for the damages would be a tragedy for a family. (See also: ObamaCare.)
It differs from conventional tetherball in that the object of the game is not for either team to wrap the ball around the pole (or in our case, the baby around the mother) a certain number of times in their respective direction, but rather to be the one with the hit that induces the breaking of the umbilical cord.
Since the purpose of the game is to leave to form of the belly button up to chance, the doctor does not cut the umbilical cord down shorter after it has broken, no matter how long it is.
Our lawyers recommend not to play next to windows. While baby's bones are made of cartilage, a high enough velocity can still shatter a window, causing hundreds of dollars in damage. Health care in America is expensive enough as it is; having to pay extra for a delivery in order to compensate for the damages would be a tragedy for a family. (See also: ObamaCare.)
Person 1: My parents had the doctors play Umbilical Tetherball with me.
Person 2: Oh, cool! *Lifts up P1's shirt* So, you're an Aquarius from 1994!
P1: It's not as cool as it sounds. The game ended with an I.V. lodged in my frontal lobe.
P2: Yeah. But at least you didn't break any windows.
P1: I'm literally unable to wipe my own ass.
Person 2: Oh, cool! *Lifts up P1's shirt* So, you're an Aquarius from 1994!
P1: It's not as cool as it sounds. The game ended with an I.V. lodged in my frontal lobe.
P2: Yeah. But at least you didn't break any windows.
P1: I'm literally unable to wipe my own ass.
by Philonoesis March 29, 2016
a term used by misogynists and gay men alike to describe something that completely sucks. references being in the womb (attached to the umbilical cord), which gay men and/or misogynists can view as the worst possible place they could possibly ever be.
Tim: god, my boyfriend won't let me top him without making a huge deal out of it. shit's so umbilical
Nabi: yeah, real fucking umbilical, huh? if that happened to me i'd feel like i was being shoved right back up my mom's pussy. god, i hate women.
Nabi: yeah, real fucking umbilical, huh? if that happened to me i'd feel like i was being shoved right back up my mom's pussy. god, i hate women.
by ratfkrr August 28, 2021
Assume a woman's vagina is so dry that the condom sticks inside it. A partner can now pull it to a certain length and flick it back at her (if he hits the clitoris, one may call it a umbilical clit flick).
by niceshice March 13, 2016
A newborn baby that is strapped to a helicopter by its cord and has a c4 placed on it. When the chopper is over the drop zone the umbilical cord is cut from the chopper and the c4 is blown when the baby hits the ground.
by Baby_Bomber May 14, 2018
Your son’s barber called you from PR to see if his hair is being taken care of? Sounds like he’s climbing the umbilical cord.
by V3_JT September 14, 2021
by Jesusfuckinchrist September 20, 2021
The white cord attached to earbuds that you get when you've purchased an iPod---you'll often see people untangling these rather klutzy things on the bus or train when personal listening is called for. Sometimes makes you wonder if some people are permanently attached to those things...
by pentozali October 26, 2011