proximate cause

n. a phrase used by lawyer to make it seem as if somebody didn't do something wrong when they really did.

Lawyer: Yes, your Honor, my clients may have created fake financial records for Enron, but they were not a proximate cause of harm to Enron shareholders because Enron was going to implode anyways.

by Petrochelli May 2, 2008

cranial rectal proximity syndrome

corporate-speak or PC phrase to describe someone who's got their head stuck squarely up their ass.

Not sure what's going on with Joe today - he's acting like a real jerk. Maybe he's suffering from cranial rectal proximity syndrome

by Annakaleia September 30, 2011

Proximity Obsession

Compulsive preoccupation with a fixed idea, feeling or emotion, often accompanied by symptoms of anxiety when close to a given person or thing.

1. When a guy talks to a waitress at a bar and she asks him what he would like to drink, that guy then has a proximity obsession and thinks he has a chance to score because she talked to him. 2. A wanting for an item that is within your immediate vicinity but you had no desire or wanting for it otherwise.

by Brad Humphrey March 25, 2006

Proximity Father

A father only willing to be a father if his children are geographically convenient to get to.

"I hadn't seen my dad in years. Only when I was in town did he want to play dad for his kids, being a proximity father and all."

by Racon2R August 25, 2009

Proximity crush

1. An attraction to someone not particularly attractive, developed from frequent and prolonged exposure to the person.

2. The subject of the attraction.

I have such a proximity crush on my new teammate.

That new girl in class is my proximity crush.

by MystJake June 5, 2020

proximate

prox· i· mate | \ˈpräk-sə-mət \ 1) A person you mate with who is close to you by kinship or in some other way. 2) A person who mates with you on behalf of another, i.e. a proxy mate.

Jack: Hey, are you and your second cousin still fuck buddies?
John: No. She moved to California, but she sent me Jill as her proximate, and she's awesome.
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Mike Pence is Donald Trump's kochsucker proximate for the one percenters.

by Len Bakerloo December 22, 2018

proximity friendship

A friendship that is formed when two people are put in a situation outside of their control. Most applicable when the two individuals have little in common and otherwise would not form a relationship.

Jim: "So how did you and Bob meet? The two of you don't seem like you have much in common."
Frank: "I was on a skiing trip and Bob and I ended up on the same gondola...I guess you could call it a proximity friendship."

by Jonny T October 1, 2007