Mentally masturbating

the act of pleasuring oneself by using only the mind to concentrate on something stimulating.

No one would every know that during the meeting Brandon was mentally masturbating because he wasn't using his hands to touch his penis.

by Lateesha223 July 15, 2014

mentally masturbate

When one is confused and spends more time then necessary mulling over the multitude of variables that come into play when making decisions.
Much like self pleasuring, the vast amount of thoughts that pertain to the situation in which you are trying to make the decision flood or overwhelm your thought process/senses thereby causing you to become consumed with nonsensical thoughts that end up wasting yours and others time.

When Joe finally caught up with the rest of the gang they wondered what had taken him so long,

he replied 'I had to listen to Amy mentally masturbate over which iphone cover to buy'

by Chilcotin Buddha January 7, 2014

Mental Masturbation

Term used by visionless people for the groundbreaking ideas that will shape the future.

What? A box that can carry voices on a wire to another box on the other side of the world? Dude, that is just mental masturbation.

by Pipe Downn March 19, 2013

Mental Masturbation

The act of imagining unreal or false things and taking them as true, and / or deliberately interpreting a fact, or acting in a wrong way, to evade a reality, boost your ego or twist a situation to your convenience.

"That girl think I like her because i invited her to my party, that's pure mental masturbation"

by Falcon64 April 30, 2018

Mental Masturbation

This is usually announced or thought of after seeing a girl who is distractingly attractive. The act of explaining you like the looks of a girl enough to masturbate too.

See, she's hot dude I'm going to ask her out.

Yea I'm masturbating in my head to her.

I fucking hate you.

I'm still masturbating in my head to her. Still not done, not done, Alright I'm done. I'm going to go make a sandwich. Good Mental Masturbation. Actually, you want to go to Chipotle?

Not with you.

Thats douchey.

by gordon getty November 13, 2011

Mental Masturbation

The act of figuring out why the world is fucked up, but that you can't do anything about it... but bitch and moan!!!

See Intellectual Jizz

I know what to do about the middle east situation

Dude stop. That is just Mental Masturbation.

by Equites April 9, 2004

Mentally Masturbating

Adjective: A state a mind where you seem aloof but brain function is occurring.

Just so you don't think I was mentally masturbating all day here is that excel spreadsheet you requested.

by patmyballs July 10, 2009