Home depot employees 

Customers who got lost looking for batteries, never found their way out, were given an uniform and excepted their fate.

Person 1: did you hear about mitchell and Jamaal.
Person 2: yeah they got lost looking for batteries so now they are Home depot employees

Home depot employees by coal trout November 15, 2019

Employer 

The incompetent douche bag you are hired to slave for. This “unit” (meaning durh brain) is the most incompetent employee on the premises. Being unable to get things organised properly, spell, use a cash register, they leave the heavy work to female employees resulting in them scoring upper back strain and putting them into an emotional state of spite and distain. They enjoy blaming others for THEIR mistakes. They are the least popular person in the workplace because of their arsehole behaviour.

Employer to female employee: "Would you be able to move that lounge."

Female Employee thinks: OMG!!!!!

Employer: "Would you be able to put the umbrella up?" (Cafe style umbrella- weights a fuckin' tonne)

If you want it done, do it your fuckin' self!

Employer by trittrott December 10, 2010

government employees 

A collection of people too dumb, bald, lazy, handicapped, fat, black or old to get a job in corporate America.

The last refuge for dumb liberals.

That lady that looks like she crawled out of a barell of nuclear waste ... the one that takes three smoke breaks an hour ... she's been eating ho hos all day ... the one who speaks ebonically ... yeah, her, the fat one with tattoos on her neck ... she's one of those typical government employees

government employees by Assex 776 September 28, 2007

Employees Remorse 

The sudden feeling you get at your new job usually after your initial training is over. It is usually a feeling of dread and sadness.

Trainer: Okies yall Now dut yer trainin is a over grab yer box knives and head out to der floor.

Me: OH GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE

Steven: Aha I told you that Employees Remorse would hit you like a brick.

Employees Remorse by bahremon June 19, 2009

Equal Opportunity Employer 

A rather classy way to say someone is Bisexual; A preferred alternative to the rather confusing and outdated phrase "swings both ways" .
Can be abbreviated as "E.O.E." when further discretion is needed.

I don't understand how you could only date women Jim. Personally, I'm an equal opportunity employer.

Equal Opportunity Employer by E.O.E. December 26, 2010

equal opportunity employer 

One who does not discriminate in their dating or mating choices (no particular preference). Suits those who commonly fall in love with a persons personality or outlook on life

Sandra is an equal opportunity employer, she will go out with anybody

equal opportunity employer by BMoney March 11, 2005

Employees 

People who work

These are my employees

Employees by Snapple is good April 2, 2019