Proximity Father

A father only willing to be a father if his children are geographically convenient to get to.

"I hadn't seen my dad in years. Only when I was in town did he want to play dad for his kids, being a proximity father and all."

by Racon2R August 25, 2009

Internet service providings

The satirical term mocking the annoying cold caller telesales people and companies involved who outsource western based companies call centres to India as a money saving practice.

These call centres will often ring you up uninvited and attempt to sell you a product, such as an internet service even though they don't have a firm grasp of the English language.

The phrase can also be attributed to the UK television show Fonejacker, who impersonates such a person as a prank caller.

Ring ring...

"Hello, I'm calling to see if you would be interested in switching your internet service providings from your current providings to a new providings?"

by PrivateLifeOfPlants October 22, 2009

Proximity crush

1. An attraction to someone not particularly attractive, developed from frequent and prolonged exposure to the person.

2. The subject of the attraction.

I have such a proximity crush on my new teammate.

That new girl in class is my proximity crush.

by MystJake June 5, 2020

proximity friendship

A friendship that is formed when two people are put in a situation outside of their control. Most applicable when the two individuals have little in common and otherwise would not form a relationship.

Jim: "So how did you and Bob meet? The two of you don't seem like you have much in common."
Frank: "I was on a skiing trip and Bob and I ended up on the same gondola...I guess you could call it a proximity friendship."

by Jonny T October 1, 2007

proximity mine

Pooping into the tank of a toilet, and taking the float out. This will make poopy water overflow from the toilet tank. The pure genious of this action is that most people almost always leave the bathroom while the tank is still filling.

"I went to that frat house last night and planted a proximity mine, by taking the float out and pooping in the tank of one of their toilets."

by Pantanto April 30, 2004

proximity sensor

The nerve sensor inside your rectum that causes you to feel an increasing urgency to poop the closer you get to a toilet. The proximity sensor is activated by an already present need to take a crap. Once in the vicinity of a restroom, your proximity sensor will alert you that you are running out of time to reach the toilet and drop your pants, or suffer the consequences...

As I walked towards the bathroom, cheeks tightly clenched, my proximity sensor went crazy and I nearly pooped my pants before I could sit down.

by igottago... July 29, 2011

Proximity Tech Support

When your computer program isn't working right but when a friend or co-worker stands next to you, it starts to work, even though they hadn't done anything to assist you.

-Will you just come and stand next to my computer? I need some proximity tech support.
-Ah, thanks! Now its printing.

by Cherhawkinof October 16, 2009