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American Satellite

Overlooking the sprawling hills, mighty oak trees and quaint meth trailers of Avery Ln., one will find the epicenter of the greatest satellite installation team know to modern man. Tom Little and his child prodigy, Lucas, worked for years together installing high quality satellite television throughout the greater Prunedale Metro area. Their dedication to friendly service, top shelf equipment and sheer know how made them a shining beacon of home entertainment.
The practice was simple; Tom would greet with a hearty handshake and then set to work preparing the specifications needed for and efficient and quick install. Measurements for access holes were drilled, cable laid throughout the foundation, signal checks and angles aligned.
Luke would go into your kitchen, survey the outlying perimeter of the refrigerator, and in 2 to 2 1/2 hours would have sushi made with rice (most definitely burned and rendering your rice cooker unusable ever again), salmon (which you didnt even know you had OR were saving for a special occasion) and a plate of skirt steak with A-1. After leaving every appliance and light switch in the ON position, Luke would, most likely, take a gigantic shit in your bathroom.
You cant train for service this exceptional.
Tom would present amazing business cards printed in the finest letterhead.
Luke would leave orange peels underneath your couch and knock over a bottle of wine he just opened onto the carpet.
Tom's "Customer Service is Job #1" attitude would ensure the word spread that American Satellite was a force to be reckoned with.
Luke would install a dish in the middle of your driveway or hood of your car. Then he would get a blowjob from your sister. He's that good.
Tom would tell Luke to paint your washing machine green.
Luke would kinda start painting, and then give up.
Tom would punch your goat in the ribs.
Luke would spill bongwater on your couch.
Sometimes they ran out of gas on the highway.
More often then not, they delighted families and left an undeniable mark on the community of satellite television. Let the entire installation community know: You've got American Satellite to contend with.
by hey. there. shittyshittyfagfag January 21, 2009
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satellite high school

A school where everyone smokes weed and is poor. No one gives a fuck about anything or anyone. Rumours spread like wildfire. Everyone wants to bring each other down.
Girls are sluts too, and the dudes are assholes
NEVER GO TO SATELLITE HIGH SCHOOL!!!
Student 1: i go to Satellite High School
Student 2: I feel bad for you, that place sucked
by Mike Skye December 3, 2013
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jew satellite

Satellite that the jews use to control the world economy from far up in space
by king of the jews (larger nose) October 20, 2008
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satellite

when dudes are hovering around or chasing after a chick, like at a bar, trying to get with her but not being successful. Usually these dudes are retarded and the chick isn't interested in them.
yo, that chick is hot, but she's got too many satellites around her.
by fooks May 28, 2004
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skin satellite

a satellite used by the US government to keep track of african americans
Person 1: How did they know he was in Utah?
Person 2: They used the skin satellite.
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Satellite

Men who weasel their way into the friend zone with your girlfriend, with the sole intention of passive-aggressively ending your relationship so that they can be right there for the rebound.

Usually long-time friends of your girlfriend. They've never had the balls to ask her out and have hated every boyfriend she's ever had.

Always beta males. Will most likely end up alone forever as they spend their whole lives chasing a girl who sees them as a little brother.
Alpha #1: Yo, who is that dude who keeps hitting up your girl?

Alpha #2: Oh it's this SATELLITE Steven. He's been trying to break us up for the past year but she thinks he's the nicest guy ever.

Alpha #1: Be careful man. My girl ran off with a satellite.

Alpha #2: It'd be her loss anyways. Ending up with a little beta faggot like that.

Alpha #1: LOL

Alpha #2: LOL
by keyboardrealist December 6, 2011
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satellite

noun:

(on the satellite, to the satellite)

1. either high, drunk, or a combination of both, to the point that you feel like you are on a "sattelite" or another planet completely.

2. fucked up, out of your mind.

3. the state of mind resulting from smoking an excess amount of marijuana, in which your normal brain functioning and reaction times are drastically slower than normal.

verb:
(satellite'n, satelliting)

1. smoking too much marijuana, in order to reach an extreme state of highness.

2. the act of getting fucked up to the point of slowed brain functioning and reaction time. These results are usually the intention of the person.
"Don't call me for a ride...I'm about to be satellite'n."

"We about to smoke dis blunt and get on the satellite."

"We went to the club last night and ended up on the satellite."

"I saw Laurie last night and she was so fucked up....she was on that satellite"

"We about to satellite in this bitch. Light it up!"

"We sittin' around, smoking a J, and next thing I know, I'm on dat satellite."

"Dude, I went to a Flaming Lips concert, but I don't even remember...I was on a satellite."
by sarajonn November 22, 2009
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