Turtle dick

Someone that takes a long time to get an erection

"did you sleep with tom last night?"
"no, he had a turtle dick."

by Hairyboy2000 January 28, 2015

dick turtle

When it's cold outside and your dick becomes very small, like a turtle retracting its head when there's danger outside.
Used as a verb

"Damn! When I took a plunge in that pool and came out, my dick turtled on me and scared the shit outta me!"
"Thank god there were no women to witness it!"

by F-Bomb Thiru July 1, 2017

Turtle Dick

Besides when cold or dehydrated, it's also a common side effect of doing to many stimulants like adderal or cocaine. Your penis shrivels up and gets hard from the vasoconstriction, and retreats into itself like a turtle into its shell. You are also basically impotent during this turtle dick state.

I'd love to have sex with you but I took 100 mg of adderal and I've got turtle dick.

by Turtledick Eqsquire March 27, 2025