Skip to main content

Goldfish

The cheese-flavored snack that supposedly smiles back, but tends to vary in that regard. Some Goldfish are all smiles, but others appear to have no smile at all. Interesting.

The original is usually the best, and with Goldfish, that is no exception. The "flavor blasted" varieties are absolutely disgusting, and the person who thought that making pizza-flavored crackers shaped like fish was absolutely fucked in the head.

Goldfish are promoted by a band of anthropomorphic fish, which are thoroughly annoying, and somewhat detract from the enjoyment of the crackers. The leader of this band of fish is named "Finn" (Ha Ha), and is somehow able to wear sunglasses, despite having eyes on the side of his head, and having no nose. He is also joined by other fish, one of which is named "X-Treme". I can only assume that he was born in the 90's. X-Treme also represents the 'Flavor blasted" variety, which happens to be the exact reason why I despise X-Treme.

The crackers are produced by Pepperidge Farms, and sold internationally. They are quite good. In fact, I am eating some at this moment (the original flavor, duh).
Person- "you want some Goldfish?'
Me- "Hell yeas"
Person- (Pours Goldfish into my hands)
In unison- "The snack that smiles back!"
by Supreme_Sucks March 23, 2017
mugGet the Goldfishmug.

Goldfishing

The act of intentionally or unintentionally spacing out when someone is talking to you

Can be perceived as uninterested or a form of passive aggression
John: Hey Mark, why doesn't that girl talk to us anymore?
Mark: Dude, I goldfished her and I think she got the message.
John: Oh ok, but next time tell me when you are goldfishing.
by GweenYunYan December 9, 2021
mugGet the Goldfishingmug.

The Solo Goldfish

The Solo Goldfish is a YouTuber based in the United States. He creates videos of things such as Minecraft videos and short films, as well as lots of random media like the "french fry video". Sometimes known as The Lonely Goldfish, this small influencer has a series called the Think Tank, in which he rants about literally anything. Take, for example, his video on why segregation is good IN A FANTASY SETTING. See, The Goldfish is not an ordinary YT content creator, he's funny, clever, and intellectual.
John McWhite-Guy: Who tf is The Solo Goldfish???
Me: A YouTuber who makes the funniest sh-t on the platform.
by 773. April 20, 2023
mugGet the The Solo Goldfishmug.

Goldfish

The polar opposite of a catfish; not photogenic but really attractive in person
Carolina is such a goldfish it’s great!
by CrustMstBust December 28, 2023
mugGet the Goldfishmug.

Pretzel goldfish

a male person with an STD
“Hey Stacy, you gonna hit that?” *points at a guy*

“Nah Rebecca, he’s a pretzel goldfish.”
by Your boiyiyiyiyiy December 19, 2017
mugGet the Pretzel goldfishmug.

King of the Goldfish

A man who lives off of tiny crackers in the shape of a goldfish.
Logan is the King of the Goldfish as you can tell by the empty silver bag & crumbs on his desk.
by Lordoftime25 September 28, 2022
mugGet the King of the Goldfishmug.

Goldfish poop

A really long poop that doesnt want to detach.
Oh man, I just took a huge goldfish poop. It was like half the length of my body and I had to shake my butt back and forth to get it to break loose.
by 1$Chuck March 8, 2023
mugGet the Goldfish poopmug.

Share this definition