by Juanisjustmad2q May 28, 2018
Get the custom inkmug. When your job is to be a trusted advisor for customers, but your product sucks so hard, all you can guarantee is customer suckcess.
Bob: "Oh, I didn't tell you? The customer terminated their contract"
Jane: "Wait, so you mean my title has been changed to Customer Suckcess Manager?"
Bob: "Indeed..."
Jane: "Wait, so you mean my title has been changed to Customer Suckcess Manager?"
Bob: "Indeed..."
by GlazeHer July 1, 2025
Get the Customer Suckcessmug. Advice to CEOs everywhere: Most of da folks who call your service-center will need to verbally inquire/protest about their matter of business --- i.e., their question or issue is not something dat they can resolve themselves by merely using your automated phone system --- and so why not offer them DAT option FIRST, rather than making them suffer through a whole tedious-and-useless-to-them menu-litany before their exasperated ears eventually hear da welcome words, "To speak with a customer service representative, press 9"?! Why subject their distressed/confused/hurried selves to those other eight "press one for this, press two for this" possibilities which they very seldom could use, anyway?!
P.S. And yes, we already know da answer to this question: namely, da board of directors hope dat one of da other non-human-interaction options will work for a particular caller, thus saving da company time and money by having to hire fewer phone-secretaries. But da point here is dat this so seldom actually happens in real life --- again, most people who call customer service do so precisely because they ARE needing to speak to someone at da company about their problem --- and so why needlessly delay them from getting da info and/or assistance they need to resolve their issue, when most of them are gonna end up having to speak to a customer service rep anyway, and so those other options dat you're offering them will seldom actually save any time or additional-employee salaries in da end?
P.S. And yes, we already know da answer to this question: namely, da board of directors hope dat one of da other non-human-interaction options will work for a particular caller, thus saving da company time and money by having to hire fewer phone-secretaries. But da point here is dat this so seldom actually happens in real life --- again, most people who call customer service do so precisely because they ARE needing to speak to someone at da company about their problem --- and so why needlessly delay them from getting da info and/or assistance they need to resolve their issue, when most of them are gonna end up having to speak to a customer service rep anyway, and so those other options dat you're offering them will seldom actually save any time or additional-employee salaries in da end?
by QuacksO May 20, 2023
Get the To speak with a customer service representative, press 9mug. The most amazing man to walk the planet. He’s got an amazing personality and is willing to take on any task. He’s definitely an alpha male and doesn’t take shit from anyone.
by Stud alpha March 1, 2022
Get the Wille Customsmug. 
by DangerousKilla February 28, 2023
Get the Hood Customsmug. by Marqueefa October 25, 2017
Get the Big Customermug.