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turd whittling

When you hold a dump so long that It turns into a petrified turd where you have to push and retract the turd slowly over and over till it puts a tip on it to help slide it out.
I should’ve crapped 8 hours ago, now I’ll be turd whittling to get it out.
by URSALT August 17, 2020
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Turd on wheels

A brown panel van that's the same color as shit that it makes people throw up and criticize over the color.
Guess what I saw on the way to work today?

What'd you see?

A big ugly brown van!!

It looks like a turd on wheels!!!

He need to go drive that fucker off the cliff. Either that or repaint it.
by B4dsx August 22, 2020
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Turd burgler

Bottomfeeder often of trogloditic orgin. One who is bereft of anything resembling good character. Compulsive theif/liar.

Also dlang for very diminutive slant on ones choosing of sexual preference
That turd burgler fucked my mom and stole my dad's watch after telling me he was at tge movies doinkin his grandma.
by Klundamatron6000 August 31, 2020
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Turd burglar

An individual who has the annoying habit of making a scene outside the stall while you’re trying pop a deuce in order to get you to hurry up. Turd Burglars show up typical when you’re in public bathroom in a busy location and someone very impatient shows up and decides to interrupt your shitting session.
>You: answering nature’s call in a public bathroom like a normal person

> Turd burglar: “ Hurry up mister I need to go, I NEED TO GO!!!” X 50 on loop until you finish pushing your slimy turd
by Thicke Henry Richard September 8, 2020
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turd purgatory

when you feel like you need to take a large dump but cant manage to sqeeze anything out resulting in an abnormally long session in the restroom or an uneasy feeling if you decide to proceed with your day with only pushing out a few tiny pellet size turds...also can decribe when you need to take a huge shit and it gets half way out of your asshole and your butthole is stretched to the furthest diameter possible,nearly tearing your o-ring then stops causing you to breath like a ladie in a lamaze class while trying to muster with the strenght to force it out..which while taking place could feel like an extremely long time in which everthing you think you know comes into question and you question if god really exists.
"sorry I was late,J had to take a huge shit and was caught in turd purgatory.I nearly blew out my o-ring, but im good now.Too much meatloaf with dessert "
by anonymous September 18, 2020
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turd

is my most used word, it can be used in different ways (obvs it means poo as well)
that show is turd
by brickarmstrong September 18, 2020
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Crunchy Rat Licking Turd

Someone who is a bummer ,ugly and rude. Someone that believes in things that only help them out and does not fight for equal rights. Call someone this to just truly confuse them.
Person 1: “Trump 2020
Person 2: “CRUNCHY RAT LICKING TURD”
by Shrexgotsmallpp September 20, 2020
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