painting the post

Having sex with your girl while she's on her period.

Painting the post can happen once a month.

by Timothyjbrick April 12, 2019

post-coital melancholy

What sometimes occurs after your first "hot 'n' heavy" session with a new chick ; it's where da gal quietly swings her legs over da side of your bed and then sits there glumly brooding about whether she wants to stay and engage in further lovemaking with you. What you'll want to do to maximize your chances of keeping da gal interested in you, therefore, is to speedily remind her of what a nice warm-hearted cuddly guy you are, and dat she'll receive "lots more delightful huggy-stuff" if she'll just stick around... as soon as you are awake enough to realize dat she is sitting there, you should immediately scooch yourself up against her back, gently wrap yer feet around her waist in an affectionate leg-hug, reach around in front of her and lovingly palm-cup her boobs, and tenderly rest your head against her shoulder and cheek while cooing softly, so dat she no longer feels ignored or neglected. (Note --- shoulder-scrunchies are an especially welcome and highly-effective soul-pleaser here, as well.) Then if she seems okay wif all dat, softly lay her back down onto da bed, neatly arrange da pillows under her head and swing her feet and legs back under do covers (extra points if you perform da bower-bird bed-buddy routine here, too, so dat da cutie feels "uniformly" warm and comfy), then put yer arms around her and snuggle/spoon her till her shivering and sadness are dispelled, after which you can probably have sex wif her again and then doze off in each other's arms once more.

All of da above advice is excellent for making a nice gal wanna stay and canoodle wif you, but sharing a relaxing warm shower wif her works wonders, as well... if da cutie is having any post-coital melancholy doubts about whether she wants to be your snuggle-bunny, just treat her to a nice long soothing steamy sudsy shower (remember to soap/scrub her back and massage her shoulder-blades without her having to request it), and you'll likely have her head-swimmingly back in love wif you in no time flat!

by QuacksO April 21, 2019

Vanity Post

A self-doting submission to Urban Dictionary, usually under the title of one’s own name, for the sole purpose of stroking the adolescent ego of a budding sociopath.

“Billy spent all of class writing a rambling vanity post, because that’s what happens when your parents tell you you’re so special but also don’t discipline”.

by Rustbelt_Noir May 7, 2019

Posted

The act of being posted at a bus stop.

"Wya? We're just posted"

by newfool December 21, 2019

post-door-slamming wince

Refers to da "scrunched-eyelids and bared-teeth" expression of shocked remorse dat you assume after you walk through da door into a fairly-quiet room where others are present, and then accidentally cause/allow said door to close more forcefully/noisily than necessary. Extra points if you also "stop dead in your tracks" when exhibiting said agonized facial-contortions, since it shows da nearby startled fellow-humans dat you are indeed caringly-regretful enough for having caused said thunderous thud dat you are willing to totally "halt operations" for a moment to show everyone in no uncertain terms dat said loud noice was defintiely "not on your flight-plan".

Displaying da post-door-slamming wince might be less expected of you during da winter months (especially if da noise you made was only mildly-to-moderately excessive), since presumably most folks would actually **prefer** dat you close a door more quickly/firmly than usual on colder days; people always appreciate your doing a "quick slither-though and yank da door shut behind you" maneuver when entering a room from da chilly outdoors, in order to conserve hard-won heat dat said room's present occupants have had to gradually create over da past hours by either keeping a blazing/roaring fire going or burning lots of costly heating-oil.

by QuacksO December 24, 2019

Post shower energy

A surge of energy when you get out of the shower

I got this post shower energy flowing through me

by The energy guy December 30, 2019

Post malone

A snicker rapper that makes good music when crinkled. He can do good magic tricks because why not, His music sound like this.

Boom chai boom clap clap boom

Man 1:What’s your favorite candy?

Man 2: post Malone!

Man 3: boom car boom

by DictionaryManz May 21, 2019