Coffee Lag

The duration between the first sip of coffee and the body's reaction to caffeine. Generally, the speaker forces actions/words to come out faster than neural transmission without the aid of a catalyst (i.e., caffeine).

Though applicable throughout the workday, coffee lag is especially perilous during the early hours, such as the morning commute, team meetings, and pseudo-serious conversations about life.

Symptoms include rambling speech, awkward gestures, and grand delusions of vacation (often resembles daydreaming). Note: coffee lag in an attractive person can be misdiagnosed as a hot mess.
Bob: "...and-when-I-go-to-desk-I-make-copies-of-things-where-I-think-that-we-need-to-see-more-of-each-other-and-I-know-you-like-me-but-I'm-still-working-and-need-more-time-to-get-these-forms-back-to-you..."

Jane: "So what I think what you're saying is that you need a deadline extension...?"

Bob: (sips coffee)

Jane: "I'll just come back after your coffee lag wears off."
by TexicanAg01 December 07, 2010
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Office Coffee

Office Coffee is any type of alcohol, but usually as liquor added to coffee, that is consumed while in the office and on the clock. Like it's sister term, "Road Soda," Office Coffee is generally illegal in most states and may constitute grounds for corrective action/termination/legal action.
I like whiskey in my Office Coffee - especially on Mondays.
by VICTOR700 February 21, 2011
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Hartford Coffee

Named after Hartford, the capital of CT.

When you fill a coffee cup up with urine and leave it in the bathroom.

Alternatively, a mixture of blonde roast coffee with urine. Salty coffee with a hint of citrus also works a substitute, and is the variety sold in cafés.
Person 1: Somebody left this cup of coffee in the bathroom.
Person 2: Maybe its a fresh brew of a Hartford Coffee.
by Leuman September 30, 2022
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coffee poaching

The act of pulling out the coffee pot in mid-brew and letting it drip into your cup. This is a common office foul that either dilutes the entire batch of coffee for the rest of the office or caused it to be much more robust.
Kevin's been coffee poaching again. This batch taste watered down!
by twowheeler1300 April 07, 2011
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CMS Coffee

n. A coffee break taken after a Catastrophic, Major, or Serious incident has occurred. Attendees at the CMS Coffee are usually quiet and reflective in demeanor. The most likely place for a CMS Coffee to occur is onboard an oil platform in Norway.
After spending 2 days trying to fix broken electronics, the crew sat down for a nice CMS Coffee.
by vaeren January 13, 2007
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Brew the Coffee

An oral sex act in which a female is kneeling in front of a standing male performing oral sex on his unit, all the while the male holds the nose of the female pulling her farther onto his unit. This act is done correctly if the female begins to make a sound as a coffee maker brewing the coffee.
Mike: "Honey, I know its late and we are both tired, maybe if we brew the coffee we can stay awake and watch the last ten minutes of Golden Girls"

Tracy: "Sure, now the question is, how do you like your coffee? Sweet and creamy? "
by jonnydeanevoss February 07, 2010
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Coffee Serious

An adjective describing anything that is serious enough to discuss over coffee instead of alcohol.
"Hey, meet me at the cafe in 10 minutes, Bill got thrown in jail last night, this is coffee serious."
by thesecondcontrecoup June 16, 2009
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