by e.p.ftw August 11, 2011
Get the Morning Wootmug. When you wake up with an enormous stiff on, but fail to utilise it to its full potential, ie. cracking one out. This most often occurs when you are late for work/school, or you are at someone else's house, but why should that stop you? Be late for work or school because you were bashing one off, tell your boss that you were doing that and he will either have enormous respect for you or she will be extremely turned on and you will be able to give her the best office shag with an ending in production ever. NOICE.
The following are examples of what happens if you bash one off, like you should.
The following are examples of what happens if you bash one off, like you should.
"why were you late for work this morning ted?"
"I was whapping one out this morning and totally lost track of time, turns out i have a lot more stamina than i thought..."
"nice dude! we wouldn't want a morning tragedy on our hands."
"why were you late for work this morning ted?"
"i was having an enormous wank over your huge tits this morning while i was in the shower, and i took a bit too long..."
"well how about you repay me the time you were late by fucking my arse while i'm bent over this desk?"
"right in the middle of the office in front of everyone?"
"yes"
"how late was i?"
"a whole 2 minutes."
"i'll never last..."
(30 seconds of savage anal stretching occurs and then ted runs out of gas, blowing his non existent load onto the desk)
"shit man my cock hurts, i just jizzed out a load of air, my tanks are empty."
"what the hell are you doing?!?!"
"i'm sorry but i just cracked one out this morning so i havent exactly recovered."
"you're fired."
"shit dude, now i think ill just go home and have a nap, hussey style, yeahhhhh."
"I was whapping one out this morning and totally lost track of time, turns out i have a lot more stamina than i thought..."
"nice dude! we wouldn't want a morning tragedy on our hands."
"why were you late for work this morning ted?"
"i was having an enormous wank over your huge tits this morning while i was in the shower, and i took a bit too long..."
"well how about you repay me the time you were late by fucking my arse while i'm bent over this desk?"
"right in the middle of the office in front of everyone?"
"yes"
"how late was i?"
"a whole 2 minutes."
"i'll never last..."
(30 seconds of savage anal stretching occurs and then ted runs out of gas, blowing his non existent load onto the desk)
"shit man my cock hurts, i just jizzed out a load of air, my tanks are empty."
"what the hell are you doing?!?!"
"i'm sorry but i just cracked one out this morning so i havent exactly recovered."
"you're fired."
"shit dude, now i think ill just go home and have a nap, hussey style, yeahhhhh."
by lost in transfusion June 2, 2009
Get the Morning Tragedymug. the time when you wake up, usually after a drunken night, that you realize the problem that was made last night. Random dude is passed out in your bed, drooling on your pillow.
texts;
girl one; omg! some naked guy in my bed!
girl two; I told you not to take him home! you were gone!
girl one; shit. this is an awesome morning after..
girl one; omg! some naked guy in my bed!
girl two; I told you not to take him home! you were gone!
girl one; shit. this is an awesome morning after..
by taytar January 25, 2009
Get the morning aftermug. When you wake up in the morning and look in the mirror and witness the illusion that your abs are toned, which quickly fades away as soon you eat a bagel and have a cup of coffee.
::wakes up in the morning.. looks into mirror::
me: Damn... I'm lookin' sexy ::flexes:: OOOH YEA!
::later in the day::
Me: Damnit... I need to work out.. damn allusive deceitful morning abs..
me: Damn... I'm lookin' sexy ::flexes:: OOOH YEA!
::later in the day::
Me: Damnit... I need to work out.. damn allusive deceitful morning abs..
by I'mboredatwork November 17, 2009
Get the Morning Absmug. The meaning of Lucifer's name. This is because, although the morning star may be the first light of dawn, the sun (God) eventually rises and makes the other stars obsolete in its brilliance. Ironically, both Jesus and Mary are also called morning star.
by Matt Miller July 22, 2004
Get the morning starmug. by Colver August 11, 2014
Get the Morning Timbermug. One tough shit in the morning. Usually a result of dehydration from drinking the night before. Requires monumental force to release.
by Eaton Holgoode December 10, 2017
Get the Morning Strainermug.